Nov 23, 2007

Friendly Fire

Friendly Fire
by: DFEA

Another Psychosomatic Episode today unfolds,
beyond the clamoring masses, his suffering beckons...
No mortal man alive can ever elude,
The insanity that forgotten vestibules ensued...

Towards the unknown future, I scope my chances,
lonely and sad, with my ridiculed romances...
I never really dreamed of much for myself,
only but what's rightfully mine I took...

Misery grips me for failing in grand scale,
while the enemy is mocking me like a feeding killer whale...
Playing with my every fiber, chanting retribution,
I grow tired of fighting and realizing only confusion...

I turned to my partner in hope of consolation,
she wasn't there, all I've gotten is nothing but deception...
I cried and I wept for I am about to die,
Still nothing came but echoes and lies...

And as I stand my ground, kneeling towards my detractors,
I recognize one of them, peeking through the corridors...
She's shaking from the fear, frozen and immobile,
shedding crocodile tears with her distinctive profile...

I lay blood-laden and torn from head to toe,

so full of hatred on my supposed ally turned foe...
Her only contribution was a pre-battle counselor,
a farce, a fiend, whose been nothing but a spectator...



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Nov 18, 2007

We'll cross the "Breech" when we get there...

Breech Birth or Breech Presentation refers to the orientation of the baby where it will be delivered with either feet or buttocks first instead of the regular head first position...

This is whats keeping me awake for the past 3 days now... No thanks to that stupid OB GYN my wife have so much fate with!!!

I told my wife over and over, that it is still too early for her to worry on whether or not the baby will be breeched birth or not... She's not even crossed the 35 week mark...

From what I've read, the baby is still moving around up until the final days approaching full term (40 weeks). This fact should have sobered anyone else... but not my wife... =(

I love my wife so much, that instead of me consoling and reassuring her, her panic and anxiety is rubbing off to me instead!!! I'm turning out to be the anxious nervous train wreck, powerless to do anything to calm her down!!!

To console myself, I turned into my favorite fix - information gathering... I've uncovered some cool facts about Breeched Birth, here's some of them...

There are four main categories of breech births:

Frank breech - the baby's bottom comes first, and his or her legs are flexed at the hip and extended at the knees (with feet near the ears). 65-70% of breech babies are in the frank breech position.

Complete breech - the baby's hips and knees are flexed so that the baby is sitting cross legged, with feet beside the bottom.

Footling breech - one or both feet come first, with the bottom at a higher position. This is rare at term but relatively common with premature fetuses.

Kneeling breech - the baby is in a kneeling position, with one or both legs extended at the hips and flexed at the knees. This is extremely rare.



In the past, normal breech birthing is a common practice... with limited success! The process known as External Cephalic Version or ECV, is when a breeched baby of around 35-37 weeks is maneuvered (doctor assisted) to correct the baby's position in the womb. The procedure only has 50%-70% success rate. This procedure has a couple of prerequisites which includes the following: actual the size of the baby, the actual orientation of the baby, the girth and size of the pelvis, the amount of amniotic fluid and the integrity of the placenta itself, and lastly the physical condition of the baby.

This is a risky procedure to both the child and the mother. Throughout the process, the child's heartbeat needs to be monitored for stress. Too much stress on the baby, might result to premature labor. Even if the baby has been successfully maneuvered, there is no guarantee that s/he will not return to his/her original breech position.

Another method is what's known as Elkin's Maneuver. This procedure suggests that the expectant mother spends 15 minutes of every 2 hours in a "knee to chest" position. Initial results were very promising but subsequently found to be ineffective. Other suggestions include hypnotherapy and acupuncture, both still awaiting formal studies to qualify them medically.
I guess, when it comes down to it, nothing can really calm you either.

You only have to trust God and allow nature to run it's course. After all, it's still a long way to your full term, babe! And I know your so much stronger than this...

Tell you what, let's put all that worrying in a box, lock it up and throw away the key! We'll just have to cross the "breech" when we get there!


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Pre-Natal Woes

My beloved wife is deliriously flipping-out on her last term of pregnancy. This is yet another reason why husbands and wives should be together during this time. Unfortunately, I have to be away from my wife unless by some miracle, my boss decides to send me home early for my annual leave...

The psychological and physical stress experienced during pregnancy and childbirth is a known fact. Most of the time, we are able to cope with them by brooding over the idea that giving birth is a process that's been around since forever!!! People do it everyday... so there's really no reason to worry.

I tried to think about what sort of thoughts my wife is having. I mean, carrying the baby to term by herself is a though job. I know she's stronger and braver than she looks, but I still cannot help but wipe off the sweat from my brow thinking that she's going through this thing alone.

The thing is, I never wanted to see any of my loved ones to suffer anything. I would rather inflict the pain to myself than see them go through it. If I can even do the entire pregnancy thing for my wife, I'd do it in a second.

You see, I'm a wuss when it comes to these things... I mean, I don't mind pain and suffering and all that crap, I proudly wear my battle scars for all to see. But to witness my wife or daughter or son to go through them? That's something I couldn't learn to tolerate.

People have told me about how husbands should be (1)poker-faced, (2)calm, and (3)reassuring for their wives during these times.... Well you know what, I can only do number 3... I don't know why I can't keep a straight face if I know that someone I love will be undergoing a stressful experience. Or keep a calm and cool demeanor, amidst the nauseating compulsion to flip out.

The source of this dilemma, came from her last visit with the doc... As per the doctor, the baby might be due between mid-December to early January... Something that really ticked me off... I told my wife to go and seek another doctor, because obviously, this doctor isn't sure about anything at all... I mean first she told us that my wife is due by late January (next year) and now this?!?? WTF??!?!?

Anyway, there's really no point to break my head over this. My wife is actually okay with the idea that she might deliver our baby without me by her side.

Naturally, my anxiety levels are off the roof...

I just wish I could be there for your babe.... =(



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Nov 17, 2007

Trading Blues

After an exciting rump and cashing a handsome profit with my first stock trading activity, I decided to go with my instinct and feed my greed further...

I picked TGII or Transgulf Industrial Investments Holdings for my second roundup at this high stakes game. The company has been traded publicly for years now with an average performer reputation.

This slugger is an investment and holdings company which also dabbled on industrial leasing and financing. They have posted limited success last year but is currently reflecting high equity yield (YTD) due to good performance of their solid investment portfolio. The resurgence in market capitalization along with the regional surplus earnings brought by the global oil crisis contributed to the positive market sentiments which catapulted TGII's market value.

Basically, the company is an average (sometimes, below average) publicly traded stock. For the second quarter of this year though; they have been enjoying a spot in the MSM as one of the most actively traded stocks with volumes averaging over 21.3 Million shares (YTD) translating a turnover of $267.41 Million (YTD). Average figures really, compared to other players in the market.

Whether their stocks' appreciation is caused by surplus capital flaming the recent gold-rush like market activities; or on pure speculative grounds compounded by market sentiments, I felt this baby is a winner!

I bought the 5,000 shares of the stock last November 11th. I thought that I would be laughing my way to the bank with this one. I've totally forgotten that I'm actually playing with fire... I think it might be high time to call the fire department to douse me off =(




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Nov 11, 2007

Depression = Aggression

For the longest time scientist we're baffled about psychological depression. Their efforts to understand the condition has led them to believe that it is better to "prevent" depression than to treat it. The reason is, depression can be causedby so many factors, of which, only a couple can be controlled.

Agression is defined as the process of engaging another party or parties (sometimes accompanied with force) to resolve a conflict. The actions employed may vary from person to person, but for the most part we are taught that we should always consider peaceful ways to arrive at a resolution.

I was lucky to live this long, given my affinity to these demons. Growing up, I always think that pain and suffering are my friends, because they are always there with me. I didn't mind it at that time, since I was taught that to be a man, you should always try to take these monsters head on.

In college we learned about the two basic human responses to stimulus: Fight and Flight. Of these two, I'd always choose the Fight response more often than I should.

Thinking back now, I am unsure whether or not my actions were right. I mean what if, I was mistaken? What if, because of my arrogance, I've dug my own grave pit!?!?! What if pain is actually something to run away from?? What if suffering is actually something that we should strive to get out of??

Lately, I'm beginning to see a pattern in my behavior which I don't like at all. Because people around me say I am basically a good guy. A fun guy. Now, I feel like I'm an accident just waiting to happen. A ticking timebomb....

Earlier today, I snapped at our new colleague because I found her little musings irritating. I don't know what's happening... I've gotten brutally intolerant of simpletons, idiot and technoweenies...

I suppose I can still change. After all, it might just be the stress.... along with other things in my mind.


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