Feb 23, 2009
Development Plans for the year blues...
Today, my boss, who's the Portfolio Manager for our company's PMO asked me to forecast my training development plans for the year. Woohooo!
Suffice to say I did not immediately bombard him with a list of trainings I wanted to get certification of during the meeting, rather I played the naive child whose just all too happy to know that the company is indeed keeping a premium on the development of their employees.
Knowing real well that this is one of the reasons why I left my high paying job abroad - there is only one thing I have to do. Try my best to get the most amount of training (and hopefully, certifications too) that I could get my hands on.
This is not something I intend on missing, but rather, to put it mildly, is something I am really looking forward to for this year....
Feb 20, 2009
Wisdom of the old for sale...
The self-help guru on her show pointed out that one of the things to look out for when people turn 50-ish, is how their perspective shifts along with their quality of life. Apparently, people in their 50's take time to appreciate things in their lives more - some even resorting into changing careers which are not so much on the financial gain perspective altogether.
They further argued how when you were on your 20's and 30's, you seemed to be always running around. Trying to please someone else, or being more concerned with what other people expect of you.
They go on saying that as you go into your late 40's to early 50's, you somehow wise up and end up putting more weight on what you want and what you think is best for you and again, not so much about the financial angle.
I suspect that for the most part, these observations are truthful. But at a certain extent, it is also wrong. I think that the problem for those in their 20's and 30's is that they are more concerned about getting ahead in their careers, and not necessarily what careers they wanted to be on. Again, it's all about the financial angle here.
People often find themselves switching careers on their 20's and 30's, trying out which best fits them, with the most consideration being given to how much it's in for me...
This is where that sense of insecurity and staying motivated comes in. Starting all over means they have to learn or develop another skill, and master an entirely new lifestyle that comes with it.
They tried their best to do so, and often times in the process, gets frustrated and hop into another career... The cycle generally goes on until they realize that they're too old, or too stubborn to start all over again, and ends up being unhappy because of the lost time and energy they've given up during each jump.
It's pretty difficult to find someone whose from the start, already knows what he/she wants.
I guess its all part of growing up.
Like a child learning how to walk. As soon as he/she does, they start learning how to run, then jump, then climb, then cartwheel... and so on.
But this still doesn't seem to do justice to the predicament in question.
So how do you break away from the madness? Pick out a career and stick on it?
Not an easy proposition as you might think.
In retrospect, I also had that moment. That time when I begin to feel I needed to find myself. That is still my situation right now. Having to go through several jobs (and if you can call it, career paths), I'm still no where to decide which one I'd retire on.
It's not an easy thing to pick out one job and stick to it till your all gray. But I do know some people whose done so. I admired this people for their resilience and how they sustain their gist.
But when you do talk to them, you'd find out that they also have to go through several "jumps"of their own during their younger years.
I think for most of us, it's more about the experience which makes one better judge when to actually say, that hey, this desk is for me...
I'm just hoping that when it did happen to me, that I'd be on my mid 30's, so I can enjoy what fun, if there ever is, would be left around thereof....
Feb 11, 2009
Cynicism changed the world
They provide an alternative take/analysis over a somewhat straight forward subject matter.
They cover the side of any discussion that would have deterred others, because most of the time, "going against the grain" would have meant that putting their sensibilities and reputations on the line.
People generally want to approach any conventions rather conservatively, because they are either ignorant about the subject at hand or just don't want to disturb the scheme of things in someone else's grand design.
I admire these minority groups (cynics) in our society, because they represent an opposing force, a counter-intuit which basically lay out a more realistic view on any given ideology.
One need not be provocative in nature, to be a cynic. You just need to get your principles and beliefs in line, and be prepared to stand by them if the situation merits it.
Cynicism, over time, has led several revolutions with which moulded society and the world that we all live now.
They constantly push the envelope in all human endeavors, questioning socially assigned norms, dogmas, and belief systems.
If not for the effort of these few men/women, the world, as we now know it, would have never existed in the first place....
So, the next time you encounter a person with an opposing ideology from yours, ask yourself whether you got your facts straight enough and why your logic is now being presented in another format.
I absolutely hate capacity planning meetings.... because; I found out, that I'm always the only cynic standing...
Beam me up, Scotty...
I know what a lot of you are thinking.... "What the hell? He's hardly half a year into his new job and he's looking for another one?"
For the same particular reason, I wanted to fly off immediately after settling in my new job - I can't seem to sustain my enthusiasm and motivation with where I presently am.
Most of the times, I don't really understand myself...
Is it just the thrill of landing a job? Or maybe because I ran out of reasons to tell myself why I want this job a month ago....
Shortly after joining my current employer, I've been seeing signs left and right telling me why this decision is wrong... Or why I needed to change jobs again...
It's not like I didn't put enough thought over this decision... In fact, it took me over 3 months to decide.
Finally when I look back at my track record - I can't help to realize that I've been hopping around from one company to another every 2-3 years time.
Actually the longest I've been in any single organization was 3 years, but that's because I took in the 6 or so months I spent with them for my internship.
It's really a sad revelation on my part, knowing fully well that I may never catch that "winner feeling" I got when I accepted this job... I tried faking my enthusiasm, but like I said, I'm running out of fake excuses to tell myself...
Typically, a new job to me undergoes this process... "yey, you nailed that one... you still have it after all..." to "What the fuck??? That job seems to suit me better... where do I sign???" in roughly 12-15 months... So, what I'm going through right now is my record best at 3 months...
And its not about the money (technically..), because, after a brief analysis over the cost of living and the potential saving percentage being in my favor with my present circumstances, this is logically the better option for the time being.
I honestly believe, that if I manage to stick to my economic plans and ventures, I'll be all set in that category, even during these trying times...
It's mostly the lack of motivation burgeoned by the tight work schedules and workloads, coupled with the odd working hours that's making me doubt my capacity to stay motivated with this one...
I'm just hoping that just like everyone else whose on their late 20's, that thirst to climb the corporate ladder will go down a notch...
Maybe then, will I be at peace at last....
Today, I got an email job alert with one of my favorite Job Portals... there are vacancies all over for a Program Directorship.... I guess primarily due to a lot of head-rolling activities in corporations; sponsored mostly in part by the world wide economic recession...
Hmmm... an IT Program Directorship/CIO position is just 1 level away from where I am right now... Maybe I should check this one out....
*Gears in the head turning again...*
Somehow, this information is adding further anxiety to my now indifferent aura. Why can't I just learn to be complacent? Or appreciate where I am at the moment? Or just be happy on what I have accomplished?
A lot of people at work are actually looking down at me because I'm 10-15 years junior than they are (although these are just from the vibes that I get and not from actual facts...).
A lot of them are raising their eyebrows, simply because they can't seem to comprehend what I've accomplished for myself, given my age...
It's frustrating for me to try to transform myself into someone (or something...) they'll be comfortable enough to accept with...
The politicians at work seems to come in all shapes and sizes now a days.... which is just
Feb 9, 2009
Are you sharing your blessings enough?
You simply did not possess your charm, wits and what-have-you's so you can indulge on your own whims with whatever it is you fancy of.
Take your comfortable standing in life.
There is no way that you'll be able to know the sort of family or life that you'll be born into.
Like what that famous line from that acclaimed Tom Hanks movie, Forrest Gump - "Life is like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you're gonna get" - our lives should reflect the gratitude that we all have to our community or those that are not so lucky than we are.
I'd like to say first of that I am not preaching here. I'm merely taking time to thank everything that I have been so blessed to have right now. Something that I haven't been doing much of in my life.
To start with, I have been raised by parents who love me, a family whose put up with me every second of every day. I have friends who are, for the most part, are friends that will never leave you or trade you off for anything else in the world. I have a young family, whose clearly been blessed on all that I could ever ask for. I have my health, that besides my incessant abusive activities, is still with me, hopefully towards my last years on this earth. I have a job; something that doesn't just provide for our daily meals, but also let us indulge on life simple pleasures from time to time.
I have everything anyone could ever ask for!
This got me thinking - what am I doing about it? I just realized, that apart from the alms/tites I give to church every Sunday, I haven't really been doing much with all these blessings.
Given that I have been give a lot of blessings, I sure am that keen on giving these blessings back to those who can really use them.
This is why, I would like to start a campaign, not the ones tainted by personal gain, but something that would effectively let me, and hopefully others, share their blessing with the rest of the community.
Okay, so I got the high level objectives down, now, I need to draft a legitimate action item to translate them...
I'm thinking along these lines:
(1) Organize a feed the hungry drive. sponsored every weekend.
(2) Organize a training/livelihood programmes for the poor to help the community
(3) Sponsor a student
(4) Give 10% Tites to a charitable institution each month
I bet you have a novel idea on your mind right now; mind sharing them here?
Meditating on the obvious
Sometimes, the greatest most depressing thing that could happen to you is to see everything that you've been working so hard for not come true. It's often times the lack of foresight or you being impaired by your self-pride that causes your planning to break down.
I recently have a realization over the fact that despite our best efforts, we can only guarantee a part of what would happen to us - this means that all we can really do is do our part and hope that everything will fall in place.
The difference between those who succeed and those that don't is their resilience. Being able to accept a setback despite all good wishes, is a clear sign that you're more likely to succeed than the next guy, in the long run.
I, unfortunately, have to acquire that trait the hard way.
For the most part, we've all been taught that in this life - it always pays to play hard to succeed.
We are trained to go for the kill to claim your stake at victory... nothing can be farther than the truth.
I'm just beginning to understand that life is actually more like a game of monopoly. Where you basically try to out maneuver the guy into completing an entire color block. Of course like in life, it's not always a straight forward proposition - you'd have to go through several propositions and talks, and hope that the other player sees things your way. In other words, the first one to master the art of compromise, wins.
Life, I think, is a lot more to do with talking rather than acting.
If you'd let yourself see through all the glare, you'd realize that the ranks of those whose names are etched in Forbes or Fortune magazines are those whose skills extend far more than their professional disciplines. These are the people whose made compromise a part of their skills.
There was once a statement that, looking back would have saves me a lot of years of soul searching, if I would've just given it the understanding it so much deserves.
The saying goes like this... "There is nothing in life that can't be resolved with a simple dialog"
Let that sink in for some time and try to look back in your life asking this question - when was the last time I compromised at something to achieve my goals...?
Feb 4, 2009
A piece of advice goes a long way
My dad for me, has been my one and only source for inspiration.
He proved to be the best self-help reference guide, whenever I'd get side-tracked or get bogged down.
His capacity to pull out anecdotal statements to put your perspective on a different light is simply awe-inspiring. I sometimes wonder if he possess mental-telepathy as he always gives the right kind of advice, each and every time.
I hope one day, I can share his wisdom to my own kids, and be, at least to them, half as inspiring as my dad is to me.
I've recently come to him complaining about how my apparent learning curve on my new job seems to on the y-tangent of an fourth-quadrant inverted parabolic curve...
His advise (in his own words): "Your (job/life) predicaments are unique to you and your case alone... Don't take the situation you are in right now as a problem, but rather treat it as if a challenge (something to be excited about)... "
Although somewhat vague, everything actually made perfect sense.
Life's Problems are unique for you
I realized that any obstacles or challenges that could ever come anybody's way would be unique to them and them alone... that there is no one out there, possessing a similar set of factors (physiological, psychological, situational or otherwise), that could actually go through the same problem like you would... therefore, relieving you on the pressure of being scaled against anyone else... giving new meaning to the statement, to each his own!
Life's Problems are just mere challenges
If you understand that the only constant variable in the Chaos theory is actually the unknown quantity; this advice pretty much paints a clear and precise picture to anyone currently wallowing in doubt or whose been at the receiving end of any of life's "advanced" challenges for sometime now...
One word --- Brilliant!
Dad also shared some line to the "Divine Chat", a fictional exchange between a problematic chap and God himself through Internet messaging.
For the sake of those whose taken time to visit and read this post, below is the complete transcript of it.
Hope you could find bits of inspiration behind the text:
DIVINE CHAT
God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. But just to make me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God : What are you busy at?
Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still cant figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..
God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart, provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me". Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start a life with a renewed sense of inspiration.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.
Feb 3, 2009
Laying down the rules
All you need to do is to stress the operative word and usually, the child gets preconditioned to what you're exactly saying and what the consequences are when they disregard your commands and pursue their course of action.
Laying down the rules to a bunch of technical experts situated half way around the world is well, another matter...
I do believe that professionals, regardless of where they were born, their economic background, or their gender and age, should somehow embody the true essence of professionalism.
Although understandably, the degree may vary from person to person, but the modality and expectations should be constant for all - especially if your talking about highly specialized jobs / line of functions...
Can you picture a neuro-surgeon explaining how to set up an Exchange Server to the anesthesiologist while cracking a patients skull wide open? Not a very encouraging thing to see huh, especially for the patient in question...
Now, tell me - what does one do when putting down rules to people who are: highly technical, highly specialized, halfway across the world, and doesn't want to cooperate?
Do you:
(a) Run away, screaming... "You f*cking lame @$$ b@st@rd!!! I hope you contract syphilis, wither and die!!! "
(b) Bitch like a high school girl on prom night and say: "Whatever, major loser! As if....! "
(c) Say nothing then start a gossip that mister so and so is gay/malversing funds...
(d) Grab the next flight to where they are and give the guy a beat down like how their momma used to do it...
(e) Email their boss and have a grand time subtly identifying points of why the guy deserves the to get sacked!
(f) Send spam emails and viral attachments to the b@sta@rd and hope he'll overload his rig requiring him to do re-install wiping out all his files which is what he really deserve since he's been doing nothing for the company anyway...
(g) solicit the services of a witch doctor and voodoo him to kingdom come....
(h) or send anthrax-laced envelope to the guy with the note --- "Your Salary Adjustment has been approved"
I think I've pretty much exhausted my options... I guess I'm open to your suggestions, care to add one on the list....? =)
Feb 2, 2009
The world wide economic crunch will claim 800,000 jobs
The country is on a waiting game as to how the ill prophecy of economic planning secretary, Ralph Recto will turn out.
Recto forecasted that over 800,000 jobs are in danger of succumbing to the tidal wave that's set to hit the country's shores since last year. This projection is about three times the initial estimates and are mostly with jobs in the import/export, manufacturing, and IT Industry.
As the microchip giant announced closing it's Manila operations earlier at the start of the year, hysteria took the first 3,000 or so employee's of the mighty Intel, Inc; some recieving the notorious pink slip during the christmas holiday's of last year. This pretty much served as a baseline to which other companies in the IT and manufacturing sector seems to follow as we see lay-offs after lay-offs being plastered on the tabloids and broadsheets daily.
This figure does not take into account the 900,000 new graduates that will be joining the workforce come summer 2009. I'm seeing nothing but a bloody year ahead for the country's unemployment rate with the economic slowdown further claiming more of the country's OFW workforce.
An estimated 8.5 million OFW are presently rattling in their shoe's as the year's first quarter usually spells contract renewal period for our overseas kababayan's.
Using deductive reasoning, the initial conservative projection voiced by the economic consultant at Fitch Ratings of 2.5 percent growth rate may be in trouble as Q1 approaches.
Makes you wonder whether your job will be on the statistics by Q2 of this year.
Optimism renewed
It's amazing to finally catch up to your internal biological alarm clock. For around 11 weeks now I've done nothing but complain to the fact that I am again, stuck on a graveyard shift - probably for the rest of my life with this company...
I murmur insulting cliches to myself, cursing helplessly at the kind of misjudgement that I let myself into by accepting a job offer back here in the Philippines.
I found that pushing the envelope of your career requires more and more of a personal sacrifice now a days...
I didn't really try to fight out the urge to just doze off while at work, while the rest of the brood is scheduling who'll take the office couch for the day. Fortunately, I'm a very peculiar sleeper and can never go to sleep without my trusted pillow or sheets....
Some people at work whose been in the this predicament longer than I've been, still can't control the urge to snatch a quick snooze - the office is literally buzzing with zzzzzz around 3-4 AM. I doubt that I can ever learn the trick of working while sleeping... =)
Anyway, I found that one of the greatest joys in being on a graveyard shift is the fact that I get to catch something which a lot of people only chance upon a couple of times in their lifetime... and that is.... bearing witness to the might Amun ra peep its bright head over the horizon...
My office view of the landscape is restricted by the high rise on the east side, but there is enough room (around 20-50 meters worth) of space wherein you can take a peep at the rising cosmic body at a very pleasurable viewing angle...
I also learned that although I feel sluggish and dry at around 8 AM, that I am as effective (if not, better) at focusing and assimilating information during the 3-5 AM period.
I can't even imagine multi-tasking at the level I am at right now.... facilitating a conference call, while chatting over at Sametime, while composing an email, while taking down meeting minutes, while composing a process flow chart, while sipping coffee, while polishing the scope documentation, while validating the capacity forecast analysis, while reading the news over 3 different websites (CNN, Bloomberg, and ANC), while typing this chat. I'm estimating spending about 1.34 minutes per window, per alt-tab action... a personal best if I'd say so myself.
I know that all I've been doing and writing on this blog are frustrations, rants, and making sure everybody knows the absolute horror that I am experiencing each day, but I couldn't help but notice the growing complacency that I am feeling along with the gut-wrenching paranoia.
Don't get me wrong, I still don't have any kind of control over my daily panic attacks and constant worry episodes; not to mention my sheer anguish over the frustration I am having with the rate I am progressing at my current work, but compared to a lot of folks over here, I'm a bit proud to say that I am catching on (even if it's just to a small degree).
It is my only wish that I can sustain this optimism - at least hold on to it until my 90th day.
My dad always tells me, you should always look for that small thing to be grateful for in everything that you do.... something which would make all the sacrifices worthwhile --- for me, besides my family, I'm settling for that perfect little sun rise everyday as I retreat to the highway for home......