When is loosing a good thing?

When can we say that loosing is actually an advantage? 

Is it when we get to stay home and miss class because we're sick?  What about getting an extension for a project but will have to settle for least priority because the budget committee has already deliberated.

No sooner than I can stretch my legs after settling into our own pad am I once again confronted with a dilemma. Another crossroad in this never ending highway of terror and grimace.

I am at a decision point from which I am still unabashedly clueless, completely frozen by the complications that may arise from the decision that I am about the take.

I've been in several similar situations before, and honestly, I don't remember having to make any easy decisions. But despite the exposure that I have, I still get prison-bitch jumpy every time something like this happens.

Maybe because, I never really got comfortable in taking risks - which is actually a mockery of what my entire life stands for. I always figure that the next "jump" would be the last one.

Leaving this place at this time raises some valid question, and of course the feeling of remorse for returning home without something to show for. I swear, if I'll have a penny for every time I felt this way, I would've had enough money to buy a new car.

There is just something in me that always begs to challenge fate. I know, it sounds all too egocentric but that's the truth. A lot of times I ask myself, why do I have to tempt what I have been dealt with? Sometimes, I'd say a candidly short answer and pacify myself. But often times, I spend the entire day wondering what to do.

It is not always clear cut when it comes to major decisions. You are always confronted by fear, remorse, insecurity, and sometimes even hatred (not necessarily in that order) - whenever you cross paths with decisions that doesn't have obvious answers.

Maybe I am feeling this way because I felt like I am abandoning the battlefield, deserting the warpath, escaping the rift that I once put my everything on the line for. In reality though, I am merely being re-deployed to another place where the fighting is more intense. A place where friends and foes are not marked and everyone seems to fight alone for themselves.

But after everything has been said and done... we still need to face the music... even if it meant possible regretting it later...

So the question remains, when is loosing a good thing? 

Let me know if you found the answer....