Settling in a laid back corporate life does have its own appeal...
I am slowly accepting that I may actually enjoy a carefree work life...
Its like starting on a diet, you still see the typical 'resistance' from your old habit time to time... I just need to take it one day at a time...
After a week of artery-popping, nerve wrecking, swear-inducing situation at work, things have finally stabilized well enough for me to reflect over the stuff that really mattered - family.
After some thought, I have chosen to take the advice of friends and just sit back and enjoy the corporate roller coaster ride.
This doesn't mean though that I will not try to rise up from the challenge... after all, there is still a challenge to overcome in this situation - I can aim to be the best "glorified secretary" that everyone has seen...!
Besides, I can always vent and blog about my technical exploits or find other like minded folks to talk about the "real world".
For now, were planning to take the kids for a weekend trip... I'm hoping this will be a good way to start me off to this new unexplored path...
Corporate life used to be simple...
You know what your role is... your set of responsibilities, and most importantly, you know how to carry them out...
For over a decade and a half I've done my best to ensure that I discharge my duties as efficiently as one can... I have proven and had distinguished myself from the average Joe...
Until now...
Having been told that I am no longer but a "Glorified Secretary" sends me in to a dark place...
Despite my flashy work title and higher pay, I cannot seem to shake-off being disappointed at my new job...
Being in IT all my life, I thought I got everything figured out... I now face an alien juncture in my path... I am forced to either swallow the bitter pill and accept my circumstances, or ship-out and accept defeat...
There is a lot riding into this decision... family, friends, and colleagues from previous work engagements are all cheering me to carry on the fight... but how can one simply say to one's self to forget every damn thing you've worked for and just "enjoy the show"?
I'm sure a lot of people would not have second thoughts and would gladly trade places with mine without second guessing...
A handsome pay for a relatively carefree job does sound really enticing... but only on paper...
Colleagues tell me to vent my technical appetite elsewhere and just enjoy it while it lasts... a fair advise, considering that it is indeed a chance of a lifetime...
Am I out of line when I demand the same level of professionalism and order in ebery workplace I go? Is it really so repulsive to practice and apply the standards and expectations that like I have done so in my entire career?
What do you do then when everybody tells you, "its not your place to do this or that" and when its at their convenience, blame you if their very decisions causes the problem? Pointing the finger like it was your fault for not insisting your case enough that they have no option but to make a choice...
I seriously need to reassess my strategy if I am ever going to be part of this "circus" for the long run...
My superiors tell me not to "over engineer" the matters and just carry on as I was told...
there's just one problem...
I dont know how to do my job any other way... It is really heartbreaking to strip down your work ethics into "bare essentials" for fear of being rejected by a system that has systematically accepted complacency versus professionalism...
*big sigh*
It has been roughly 6-months now since I decided to again venture overseas to seek better economic circumstances...
It goes without saying that my initial appetite for excitement has now settled down to a textbook case where I am again questioning why I came here in the first place... having all this time to witness the goings-on of locals and similar expat families here, make you confront life's uncertainties on a daily basis.
It was never really about whether I made the better decision or not... the circumstances is never ideal - afterall making a living in a foreign land seems to be the only option for most Filipinos.
As I write this, I am beginning to slowly accept my fate... it has become clear that I will not be able to reign economic security for myself and family if I will stay home... everyday I have to repress all the frustrations I feel for working in a culturally "difficult" professional environment, for the sake of a better future's promise.
But is all the sacrifice worth it in the end, is the million dollar question, isn't it?
Being a 2nd generation migrant worker myself, I know first hand how difficult it is for OFW kids to find success especially if they will be repatriating back to the Philippines later in life for college or work.
I have witnessed some success stories from personal friends and acquaintances, mostly though were stories depicting otherwise...
People begin to understand how things are more difficult for children raised overseas to compete in the cut-throat reality back home. For most expat parents, what was once a vision of high hope for their kids' future, have turned into nightmare and disappointment.
I sincerely hope that when the time comes, my own kids will realize their own dreams despite my own inability to ensure it for them...
I pray that the Lord watch over them in as much that he has watched over me...
