Jul 29, 2009

G-Spot horror story

The plot

There was a heated discussion amongst my colleagues in the office one day, about the existence of the male g-spot.

Obviously, there was really no clear point on the discussion, it was all just some perverted way (by someone) to past the time over lunch break....

The guys even suggested that there was a wiki document out there, detailing the actual location of the male erogenous zone.. I obviously have to see it for myself, although, I flatly (or shall I shall I say, disgustedly...) dismissed that such an article does not (or should not) exist at all, let alone be documented in Wiki...

Homophobes be warned

So, just for argument's sake, I did go into Wikipedia and hit the search button for the text criteria "male g-spot" which landed me here, nothing really new there....

Then I thought that since I was out on the web anyway, I'd try hitting a search on google for the same text, and came across this rather disturbing forum entry, from an obviously "happy" guy giving a "blow by blow" instruction about "stimulating" the supposed male g-spot...

All I can say was, "what the god-damn fuck!?!!?!", while read the first few lines hitting ALT-F4 after about 3.75 seconds into the article....

Unfortunately though, I'm a fast reader, and basically got a "lot" of unwanted information off with those 3.75 seconds I now, regrettably spent reading that shit of an article...

My life, I can now say, will be forever scarred at this point... I'd probably end up old and broke paying for therapy with the traumatic experience...

The damage, in my case, will be irreversible...

*AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

For what it's worth, I want to leave you, kind readers with this trivia, in a futile attempt, wash off all that filth you most definitely would be needing Doctor Phil's therapy from later on....




Trivia: Can you find where this "hottie's" g-spot is?



Vicious cycle

I always try to put some sort of explanation to any shit that happens... After all, shit does happen, right?

Sure, I also, mostly, jump to conclusions, initially, but then, my more "mature" side always kicks in, which would then start me off on the process of logically assessing the situation, culminating with me drawing up either a scientifically conclusion, or form of assumption based on deductive reasoning...

Coming back to my point (and I promise I do have one this time!)... If there's one thing that I dislike about myself is the fact that I often times go against what I preach... I mean, I am calm, logical, and reasonable when it come to addressing matters affecting other people.

But, when shit comes my way... I turn completely opposite!

Be that as it may, I am sort of a reactive Eddie, never really backing down on any point, until all the fumes past, and I'm all by my self...

Often, I would find myself disengaged after a conflicting event, just reviewing what I would've done better at that time. In the end, I'd formulate some sort of resolution, and start telling myself that "this is what I'm going to do next time this shit happens again..."

Next shit happens, guess what? Same routine... I'd be bitching, biting, exaggerating, mostly because I either:

a) don't care about no damn resolution
b) Just really not understanding the point of being logical at that time
c) I'm almost always right anyway, so why bother analyzing the shit?

Which obviously brings me back to where I started with this... So, I want to put the question out there and ask - "Is this thing normal?"

I mean, if there is any shrink out there who could give me free advise, I urge you, for the love of god, help me resolve this already cause its getting too damn old!

Jul 23, 2009

Those were the days, my friend....

Once, I dreamed of being an influencial, tech-savvy corporate warrior... A suave, tech-talking, smooth-walking, semantics-playing, regression-testing, keyboard-punching, monitor-staring, network-architecting, name-calling, bluetooth-wearing techno-freak!

But now though, I couldn't care for anything else, except to live a normal life, sleeping on normal hours, doing normal inane things, like talking about, nonsense, sometimes whimsical topic items.

Having a conversation over coffee on something quaint like flipping pancakes, boiling an egg, re-arranging the furniture, driving the car until you run out of gas, walking for hours in the rain, cracking my knuckles until it hurts, waving goodbye while sitting on the curb of a busy street, flying a kite, whistling a tune, tossing in bed, playing with my kids, drinking off the milk carton, scooping sand then flailing it to the ocean, reading a good book, polishing my shoe, scrubbing the floor, surfing the boob-tube, reading a comic book, stacking up boxes, watching the sunset, cursing across empty space, getting a hi-five, giving a hi-five, counting the hours, or just planning the next stupid grocery lists...

You know, simple shit like that...

Sigh... I wish life could be as it once was....

Oh, well - back to reality D... Crap! I needed those infrastructure designs an hour ago... wtf is this guy doing?!?! I swear risk architects are the biggest frigging drama queens you'd ever work with!!!

Jul 3, 2009

Half Baker's dilema

Most of the time, I find myself cooking up half baked business ideas and making it rich...

Then, I burst forth with adrenaline about a dose of pointless researching, statistical analysis, cross indexing, until finally, I convince myself the same two possibilities that I ended with on the my last half-baked idea:

(1) It will work, but it requires much time, commitment, and of course capital.
(2) IT WON'T WORK...

Seriously, who amongst us have even began to take the "risks" and just blindly run with the stuff we concoct?

Half baked ideas are only good if your at your wits end (i.e. you got sacked, or your co-workers rat you out that you we're moonlighting with the competition...) and have nothing to loose...

I know it could just be because, due to all those time of countless hours of brain-washing session we call school years... we all got that insidious fear of risking it all for something uncertain...

It not only takes courage and prudence to switch your realities at a snap of a finger. Sometimes, it also requires something not quite easily given out.... yep, you guessed it... Faith

A dose of self inflicted bitch slapping

I just got recently got the biggest wake-up call this time around in my professional life...

No longer will I be basing my self-judgement on my previous accomplishments, merits, awards or job position...

Today I realized that although delivering the job is essential - it is no longer enough of a qualifier to say that you've done the job well.

For me, now, it is the process and the manner of how you deliver the requested matter that really counts.

In the not so distant past, I proudly celebrated how I managed to elevate myself, and my professional career to where it is now - on the "egotistical" grounds that I'm simply smarter, stronger, faster, and more ambitious than anyone else in my age group.

I never give any thoughts on the fact that wisdom is not something that comes in a packaged, pre-cooked, just pop it in a microwave oven sort of a deal and you're set for the next challenge sort of stuff...

Thinking back, I felt as if I lost track of the reality that life isn't about who's ahead, but about how you enjoy the ride, and in the process, constantly take notes on opportunities for improving yourself no matter how small it may seem...

Growing up, I recall, that I wasn't always concerned about those things. I was predominantly there for the"thrill" factor... the rush that you get by being the first one to finish the test exam (with flawless scores of course!), or being the first on the honor roll list, or some stupid thing like that....

I desire competition, for the shallow reason that I can later on mock the other fellow once I crossed the finish line first and leave him/her sucking down dirt and fumes...

It's basically an immature aspect in my personality that I've just recently found to be extremely repulsive... Something, that at this point, I am not very much proud of.

I've cut-corners, lied, cheated, and bribed my way if I have to, just to stay ahead of the pack...

In the past, its only about, me coming up on top, or me being the first at this thing and that... pathetic... I know.... but yes, I am, for the most part, guilty as charged...

Having this realization at this point of my professional life is proving to be a big drag... because now, I'm constantly doubting myself, my judgement, my call....

No longer the trigger happy, maveric cowboy, the "know-all-coz-I-am-the-best" kind of an attitude...

I slump back, trying to evaluate and sometimes, re-evaluate every angle in everything that I do now... sometimes, I even find myself struggling with efficiency, simply because now, I take an extra time to come up with a decision...

Is that a bad thing?

In the end though... like what that great saying goes... "Let none but history judge me..."

At least that what it looks like from where I am now...

**Big friggin' sigh!