Annual Self-Exam: 2009

I never really had an opportunity to go through a full introspection for 2009.

I mean, I've had 'eureka' moments from time to time, but never that time where I sit down and mark myself against my objectives for this year.

So for this post, I'm doing just that!

Below are my "carefully" identified pre-conditions and arguments about a year ago when I was trying to decide whether to accept this opportunity and repatriating my family back to Manila:

1) That this opportunity presents a possibility of migrating and settling in the United States.
2) That due to the low cost of living in Manila, compared to Muscat, that I can expand my savings potential by a conservative three-fold margin
3) That further career development in terms of professional trainings is possible due to the progressive nature of the company and of the job itself
4) That I could complete a post-graduate/or another bachelors degree - further opening doors to other career choices/opportunities.

Well, here's the low-down:

Item 1 (Did not occur) - The possibility of travelling to the United States was struck down early (1/2009) due to budgetary concerns in the organizations, in lieu of the economic fall-out in the States and as well as the recent mergers and acquisitions, orchestrated by the company by late 2008.

Item 2 (Did not occur) - The potential savings brought by the lower cost of living, was effectively leveled-off by the sheer deductions and taxes drawn from my monthly compensation. I did account for this possibility of course, but did so, with a naive, sort of childish/fantasy-like rigor... By not factoring in the compounding effects of the local inflation rate, escalated cost on basic necessities (utilities, petrol, water, basic services, etc) - I've essentially made a serious mis-calculation. Thus, effectively striking out this item from my list.

Item 3 (Did not occur) - This item hinged very closely with item number 1. The opportunity to gain further certification in my field is not possible locally, therefore, when the news that no travel-advise will be given for 2009, this too obviously was stricken out from the record.

Item 4 (Did not occur) - Due to the nature of my work, that we support most endeavors in locations with 8-13 hours time difference from the Manila, it was a struggle to a family man like me, whose domestic responsibilities essentially takes 40% of my offline hours to pursue another degree or any post-graduate degree for that matter. I simply cannot function effectively with less than 4 hours of rest daily. Don't say I didn't try though - I actually had myself enrolled for a post-graduate class, but had do drop a week later because I feel like collapsing to the sidewalk .

All in all, I just feel that there is really nothing to cheer about, even with the local holiday scene... *Big sigh!

Wikipedia's decline

I raved at the news when I first heard about the idea of an open-source encyclopedia with the intent to provide free access to information and knowledge to all way back in 2001-2002.

As a technologist growing up in the '90s, I am well aware of the corporate greed that has shaped the once benign thrust of the world-wide web, and that is, to liberate humanity through free information access.

I never had any doubt that the such (wikipedia) a concept would take off - however, I do concede, that when Wikipedia first announced their program, it did made me think about how the entire concept could stand the test of time, mostly questions about - what sort of governing infrastructure could they put in place.

As a student from a modest family, I didn't have the luxury that the elites have at their disposal - namely access to the latest books and articles as afforded only by cash.

Basically, all we have was a 12-year-old "World Book" encyclopedia and the school's mostly out-dated collection of documents at our disposal. The encyclopedia is bound to the information available at the time of their print. So it didn't fare well on topics like - medical, technical and scientific developments, which requires constant updates due primarily to their constantly changing nature.

Now, when Wikipedia first came out - I said, "this is good".

Now, it literally would cost anything to learn! I was then, as now, a true advocate of what the Internet stand for --- "free information access".

Now, all of humankind will have access to free information, literally, at their finger-tips.

Obviously, the next big question on everyone's mind then is - "so how does this work exactly?".

As with anything open-source, the articles and materials on Wikipedia will be constantly subjected to arbitration (i.e. disambiguation, updates, etc) for everyone, and anyone within the community. Which is, really, a good thing.

But obviously, as the contributing community grows - it will inevitably go through the age old problems that a typical society faces, namely: governance, relevancy, rules and regulation, and of course, posterity.

It was clear from the beginning that any questions on concepts and proprietary regulations needed to be spelled out clearly.

As always, any great ideas are only as good as how its community wants it to be.

The fact that a good idea has to actually work in order for it to be beneficial overtime needed to be addressed clearly, and that was not the case with Wikipedia.

It was soon clear that the people who introduced the "Wiki concept" had done so in haste. And around late 2005 - to early 2006, the small cracks started to appear...

Slowly, the wiki administrators find themselves refereeing infighting and similar activities between contributors and community members. The level and quality of contributions/articles also declined as most of the community quality contributors decided to leave in disgust as Wikipedia tries desperately to put new laws and guidelines in place, sometimes, giving out new procedures and rules, in a daily format.

The general rule of saturation slowly sets the next stage...

Questions like, "well how often does any article have to be updated" didn't help the Wiki folks and the community at all. Debates over how to set the standards of a Wiki article also became a focus of attention for sometime in 2006.

I mean, let us agree on this fact - That we can only put (or at least try our best to) a finite set of knowledge articles in there, that's one thing, but the contention over editing and updating documents and the governance and processes of these and similar topics cannot all be addressed in the interim.

Overtime, the situation is just bound to be in a direct collision course to mayhem and disarray.

The founders should have made clear that knowledge and information has to have a proper founding guidelines, in order for it to stand the test of time.

Free information is indeed a novel idea, but somehow, all needed to consent to an acceptable regulation, formulated to impact the community overtime, and not when problems are identified.

In the realm of the information super highway, Wikipedia is a small idea that needed a gigantic feat to fully accomplish. Something that requires a rather significant investment in time and energy initially as planning.

Again, I am, in all honesty, do not see the concept of free information to be an impossible novelty, in fact, I'm still hopeful, that some day, someone will be able to tie the "loose ends" and forever secure the world of free access to information for all!

The question on whether that's Wikipedia? I very much have little faith at this point in lieu of fact that they should have given more time hatching out the guidelines beforehand instead of fire-fighting their way out of this mess.

I believe that, bottom line, free information (open-source) is a workable proposition; we just have to fully identify the guidelines and preliminary rules completely and clearly.

Pacquiao vs. Cotto

It's just one day to go and already the workplace is alive with folks picking slots and putting down bets for the much anticipated Pacquiao - Cotto "Firepower" Match.

The event is scheduled to take place at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on November 14.

I'd like to give the whole spiel on in-depth analysis for both boxers, but I figure I don't want to give you readers an impression that I'm biased.

So, I'll just give you the statistics on both athletes and let you make the decision.

Let's get it on!!!!

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Click the link for:

Manny Pacquiao's Professional Record

Miguel Cotto's Professional Record

Tale of the tape

Proof that you should never take your problems seriously

"It's never really a matter of choice. So if your screwed now, you're destined to be screwed for the rest of your life"

- this is how I understood what life is really all about, not really a comforting thought, huh? I know...

If you thought that you are here right now, empowered or in control of your life, and existing in a reality by your own accord or merits, then folks, I'd have to urge you to think again.

I've always wondered how people often look back later their lives thinking that they could've changed their lives' outcome if they could have done things differently - if they could've made a different choice.

I believe that this is the main reason why people are unhappy and stressed; that they grow old bitter at an "opportunity lost" or at least the prospect of what could have been a better life... if only...

Unfortunately, I have to concede, that this is how I also used to think, thus explain my fondness of leading a stress-laiden, circumstancially-dependent, adrenaline-driven life..

And, this is what I'm trying to train myself out-of right now (sadly, with mixed results)...

Why the sudden existential quips from yours truly?

Well, with everything going-on right now - with my job, life, family, kids; I just feel that everything is slipping out of control, in short is heading for a road to nowhere!

I feel so lost... so unsure... always in panic-mode with life's every twists and turns...

Not really a good thing when your the sole-provider of a young family...

I feel that all my living seconds are spent with making or taking split-second decisions, that I would either later regret or forget(?) why I made it in the first place.

This month, has been more of the same, and for some reason, I always find myself reflecting on the same questions everytime (i.e. what is the point of this life? why is everything going the way they are? etc), going halfway, then not really bothering to finish the thought process.

This is the cycle that is my life's story:

Problem comes in the picture -> Think of Solution -> Implement Solution -> Evaluate Results -> Results unpleasant/pleasant? -> Question "what if" scenarios -> reflect on "what if" results/scenarios -> then, another Problem comes into view, repeat step 1...

and this is the summary: Same old shit, different day!

Looking forward this time around though, I chose to take another path.

Somehow, I found myself not rationalizing with "what if" scenarios, but rather trying to figure out if theology holds some explanation to this perpetual life mystery.

Digging deep to my collection/knowledge of theology and philosophy (there's really not much left in there, so it was a quick half-a-day trip to psychedelic dooland) I came out with this understanding...

If you really understand the basic theological rationale of your very existence it should be this:

"That God has created man from his own image/likeness; that HE has ultimately, something planned for you altogether even before your parents were born..."

Western theology's twist in this concept, is the notion that God has given man, the right to make his own choice on things. And that those choice (with predetermined outcome) would essentially be your accountability and would eventually spell your life story.

I believe that western theology's view on this concept are the primary reasons why people today are much inclined to be lethargic, psychotic, and essentially living stressed lives - the fact that they have a "say" on their lives will obviously throw people off whenever things "magically" don't go the way that they plan it to go...

But let's take time to analyze this idea.

Immediately you'll run into a couple of inherent flaws, namely:

First point is, that even though your basically empowered to make your own decisions, you are still eventually choosing something that was, in essence,
already chosen for you (with the argument that God would have known what option
you'll choose in the end regardless). So, with that, the argument that you are the captain of your life goes down for the count.

Second point is, if we argue that you are indeed empowered to make your own choices, and basically in control of your life's destiny by choosing to take a different path than what God has laid for you - you are still, effectively making a decision over already pre-determined options to begin with, due to the argument that God already know the outcome for "each choice". This would therefore contradict the notion that your choices will essentially spell any difference in your life.

So, if we agree that all the options that we will encounter in our lifetime, have already been "previewed" by God (meaning that the outcomes of those options are already known), and that even act itselt of "making a choice" is already known (due to the argument that God is Omnipresent and Omnipotent) then, the logical derivation of this argument would be the following:

1. That your life is composed of pre-determined choices, all of which have their specific outcomes already identified.

2. That even the "act" itself of making a decision over these options and their corresponding implications in your life have also been determined, long before you were even born (since God already knows what your life's end/story will be).

3. That ultimately, you don't have any control of what your life would end with (circumstances) and that the choices that you've made or the one's you'll be making in the future already have a "pre-determined" result, and all the "impacts" of those decisions are already foretold or mapped.

Kinda makes your skin shrivel doesn't it?

As a consolation though - we know that it's human nature to second guess ourselves and our decisions.

It's the primary reason why we, as a species, choose to exist at a much higher level of consciousness.

It is the same reason why we're even talking about this topic, at this very minute.

I mean, this could probably explain why people, at the dawn of their life is still bitter with the prospects of a different reality over the thought that their lives could've been different if only they've made a different decision - Its in our nature to question their fate in the entire fabric of life, as designed by God.

The moral of the story is, whatever God decides for you in your life's circumstances, is already a pre-determined path, something that "He" has known long before you were even born.

So there's really no value at this point to not trust HIM.

Afterall, He knows your life's story, inside, and out.

That all the pains, worries, and stress that you're experiencing right now, are all part of God's "grand design" of things.

So to be stressed or be worried about every little quirk or problems is essentially moot and frankly, stupid.

And that ultimately, we are all in this for the ride!

We just need to trust Him and His will for the simple fact that He would know what's best for you and me, and everything else that's happening right this very minute, are just details...

Glory to God's name forever!

And they say that logic and religion don't mix... =)

Padre de Pamilya

The definition of a "Padre de Pamilya" in Filipino society has been hard-wired to us through years and years of "brain-culturing" with school and through interaction with family, and friends.

No one I know right now will ever try to contest what is essentially the essence of what a "Padre de Pamilya" is. At least not from those who are within my circle of friends anyway.

Today though, I was able to do some thinking. Something that is becoming a scarce commodity nowadays with all the year-end hubbub flying around like confetti.

And really what I found out, is that there is no god-damn way can you ever be in total control of what will happen in your life and your loved one's lives.

I mean, for example - you could bring up your children the best way you know how; send them to the best schools money can afford. But in the end, its ultimately their decision to make on what they'll make out of their lives. You just need to make sure you've "armed" them with the right tools by ensuring that their morals, and values are checked.

I always look back at that time when my mom passed-away, back when we are just trying to ask the really hard questions about life - college days.

I always have these questions that I never really got a clear answer on. I have to basically go through a process of elimination or trial-and-error for any answers.

And because of this; I always have this deep insecurity inside of me. Something which actually have had a positive effect, but mostly I reckon, have some really negative ones too

I realized that I am never, at any point in my life (not now, not ever!) - can I ever measure up to the demands of being the "padre de pamilya" as what the standard connotation would ever mean.

I feel that whatever I do, or try to do, all in the name of providing better security to my family, is never going to be good enough.

This essentially leads to stress - and I mean "Stress" with a capital "S".

I stress everyday, every second if I have too, just to figure out, what's the next step? What else do I need to do to secure my family's well being. I stress about the really trivial things along with the really stressful stuff - like what will my children be like in 20 years? Will they be okay?

I stress even to the point of foregoing anything related to myself (health, wants, and personal comfort) - as such was the expectation for a "padre de pamilya" in the society I was brought up from.

But these past few days, I often find myself thinking if this is the right way to go.

If what I'm doing is actually the best way... by eliminating my needs/myself in the equation, am I jeopardizing their future too?

I mean, I know that without even flinching, I'll willingly lay my life in exchange for anyone's in my family - but am I being selfish at not really taking care of myself just to fit the "bill" in the process?

If for example, I contract a life-threatening disease and die prematurely at this very moment; wouldn't that mean that they would be left to fend for themselves, basically struggling like we did when mom left us?

I know that this is a profound subject and I bet a lot of you right now might even argue with what I'll be saying - but I just realized that by not ensuring that I'm taking cared for, I'm actually putting my own family at risk.

And by being so, I am essentially no different that the dad who drinks all day and beats up his own wife and kids just for fun, and then roll over to sleep - as what is typical with the "dysfunctional" sorts that you read everyday on the tabloids.

I need to seriously look at helping myself more, so as to better ensure that I'd be in for "the long haul" for my family.

As I type this, I think about my youngest, who'll just be turning 2 YO this January next year and feel that I'd really need to take of myself since it'll be a while.

My eldest is already there halfway (at least from my perspective), so I don't worry about her at this point. She's matured so well for her age that I bet my life that she'll be making waves on her own in no time at all.

I love both my kids so much, that I can't really think falling short of my "end of the deal" and leaving them to fend for themselves.

I really need to get back on shape, or otherwise stop pretending that with what I'm doing now, I'm actually fulfilling what being a "padre de pamilya" is.

US State Secretary to visit Manila

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said last Friday (Nov. 7) that she will travel to the Philippines next week to "show solidarity" with the storm-battered nation, just after her visits to Singapore and Berlin.

The US State Secretary futher announced she will join President Barack Obama during his visit to China from November 15-18, her second trip as chief diplomat to the country the Obama administration recognizes as a key global player.

In a flurry of travel announcements this week, Clinton and her aides announced her tour of Europe and Asia, one that comes on top of a tour of Pakistan and the Middle East that only ended on Wednesday.

"I'll be going to the Philippines, to show solidarity with our friends in the Philippines who have been battered by typhoons and have just suffered so much over the last weeks," Clinton said in a speech in Washington.

Typhoon Santi (international name Mirinae) swept over the main island Luzon on Saturday, dumping heavy rain and bringing strong winds just weeks after Tropical Storm Ondoy (Ketsana) and Typhoon (Pepeng) Parma left about 1,100 dead and tens of thousands homeless.

Amidst all this, you can't help but wonder, if this is the "recon team" moving for a closer look as the timing of the visits are uncanny - after all, we only have a couple of months left for the 2010 elections, and one can't help but wonder why the US is taking extra measures to "look" into the nation's status this time around.

Of course the fact that the "double-whammy" of Ondoy-Peping just happened to be relevant doesn't really show what the "clear picture" was.

Can't get to see what the 2010 election blockbuster will look like. Already the "actors" and "actresses" are busy as hell filling the air with their "charm" and "wit"... somethings never really changes...

Pacquiao-Cotto tale of the tape

Miguel Cotto Pro Stats

Name: Miguel Angel Cotto
Nickname: "Junito"
Birthday: October 29, 1980
Birthplace: Caguas, Puerto Rico

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Miguel Cotto Professional Career Statistics:

2009
Jun 13 Joshua Clottey WBO Welterweight T W SD 12
Feb 21 Michael Jennings Vacant WBO Welter T W TKO 5

2008
Jul 26 Antonio Margarito WBA Welterweight T L TKO 11
Apr 12 Alfonso Gomez WBA Welterweight T W RTD 5

2007
Nov 10 Shane Mosley WBA Welterweight T W UD 12
Jun 9 Zab Judah WBA Welterweight T W TKO 11
Mar 3 Oklay Urkal WBA Welterweight T W TKO 11

2006
Dec 2 Carlos Quintana Vacant WBA Welter T W
Jun 10 Paul Malignaggi WBO L Welter Title W UD 12
Mar 4 Gianluca Branco WBO L Welter Title W TKO 6

2005
Sep 24 Ricardo Torres WBO L Welterweight T W KO 7
Jun 11 Mohamad Abdulaev WBO L Welterweight T W TKO 9
Feb 26 DeMarcus Corley WBO L Welterweight T W TKO 5

2004
Dec 11 Randall Bailey WBO L Welterweight T W TKO 6
Sept 11 Kelson Pinto Vacant WBO LW Title W TKO 6
May 8 Lovemore N'Dou WBC Intn'l LWelter T IBF LWelter T Eliminaor W UD 12
Feb 28 Victoriano Sosa WBC Int'l L Welter T W TKO 4

2003
Dec 6 Carlos Maussa WBC Int'l L Welter T W TKO 8
Sept 13 Demetrio Ceballos WBC Int'l L Welter T W TKO 7
June 28 Rocky Martinez WBC Int'l L Welter T Vac WBO NABO LWelt T W KO 2
Apr 19 Joel Perez W KO 4
Feb 1 Cesar Bazan Vac WBC Int'l LWelt T W TKO 11

2002
Nov 22 Ubaldo Hernandez W KO 7
Sept 14 John Brown W UD 10
July 30 Carlos Ramirez W KO 3
June 22 Justin Juuko W TKO 5
May 3 Juan Angel Macias W TKO 7
Mar 1 Sammy Sparkman W TKO 2
Jan 11 Joshua Smith W TKO 2

2001
July 28 Arturo Rodriguez W KO 2
July 1 Rudolfo Lunsford W TKO 4
May 20 Martin Ramirez W UD 4
Apr 28 Waklimi Young W UD 4
Mar 30 Jacob Godinez W TKO 2
Feb 23 Jason Doucent W TKO 1

Manny Pacquiao Pro Stats

Name: Manny Pacquiao
Nickname: "Pac-Man"
Birthday: December 12, 1978
Birthplace: General Santos City, Philippines

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Manny Pacquiao Professional Career Record:

2009
May 2 Ricky Hatton IBO Light Welterweight Title W KO 2

2008
Dec 6 Oscar De La Hoya W TKO 8
Jun 28 David Diaz WBC Lightweight Title W TKO 9
Mar 15 Juan Manuel Marquez WBC Super F Title W SD 12

2007
Oct 6 Marco Antonio Barrera WBC Int'l Super F Title W UD 12
Apr 14 Jorge Solis WBC Int'l Super F Title W KO 8

2006
Nov 18 Erik Morales WBC Int'l Super F Title W KO 3
Jul 2 Oscar Larios WBC Int'l Super F Title W UD 12
Jan 21 Erik Morales WBC Int'l Super F Title W TKO 10

2005
Sep 10 Hector Velazquez Vacant WBC Int'l Super Featherweight Title W TKO 6
Mar 19 Erik Morales Vacant WBC Int'l Vacant IBA Super Featherweight Titles L UD 12

2004
Dec 11 Fahsan Por Thawatchai IBF Featherweight Eliminator W TKO 4
May 8 Juan Manuel Marquez WBA/IBF FW Title D DC 12

2003
Nov 16 Marco Antonio Barrera W TKO 11
July 26 Emmanuel Lucero IBF Super Bantam Title W TKO 3
Mar 15 Serikzhan Yeshmangbetov W TKO 5

2002
Oct 26 Fahprakorb Rakkiatgym IBF Super Bantam Title W KO 1
June 8 Jorge Eliecer Julio IBF Super Bantam Title W TKO 2

2001
Nov 10 Agapito Sanchez WBO/IBF Super Bantam Title D TD 6
June 23 Lehlohonolo Ledwaba IBF Super Bantam Title W TKO 6
Apr 28 Wethya Sakmuangklang WBC Int'l Super Bantam Title W TKO 6
Feb 24 Tetsutora Senrima WBC Int'l Super Bantam Title W TKO 5

2000
Oct 14 Nedal Hussein WBC Int'l Super Bantam Title W TKO 10
June 28 Seung-Kon Chae WBC Int'l Super Bantam Title W TKO 1
Mar 4 Arnel Barotillo WBC Int'l Super Bantam Title W KO 4

1999
Dec 18 Reynante Jamili WBC Int'l Super Bantam Title W TKO 2
Sept 17 Medgoen Singsurat WBC Flyweight Title L KO 3
Apr 24 Gabriel Mira WBC Flyweight Title W TKO 4
Feb 20 Todd Makelin W TKO 3

1998
Dec 4 Chatchai Sasakul WBC Flyweight Title W KO 8
May 18 Shin Terao W TKO 1

1997
Dec 6 Panomdij Or Yuthanakorn W KO 1
Sept 13 Melvin Magramo W DC 10
June 26 Chokchai Chockvivat W KO 5
May 30 Ariel Austria W TKO 6
Apr 24 Wook-Ki Lee W KO 1
Mar 8 Mike Luna W KO 1

1996
Dec 28 Sung-Yul Lee W TKO 2
July 27 Ippo Gala W TKO 2
June 15 Bert Batiller W TKO 4
May 20 Jun Medina W TKO 4
Apr 27 Marlon Carillo W DC 10
Feb 9 Rustico Torrecampo L KO 3
Jan 13 Lito Torrejos W TKO 5

1995
Dec 9 Rolando Tuyugon W DC 10
Nov 11 Rodulfo Fernandez W TKO 3
Oct 21 Renato Mendones W TKO 2
Oct 7 Lolito Laroa W DC 8
Sept 16 Arman Rocil W KO 3
Aug 3 Flash Simbajon W DC 6
July 1 Dele Decierto W TKO 2
May 1 Rocky Palma W DC 6
Mar 18 Pinoy Montejo W DC 4
Jan 22 Edmund Ignacio W DC 4

Helpless

Amidst all the sound preparation, due diligence and forecasting - times nowadays are as cunning as a thief in a moonless night!

Often times coming seemingly out of nowhere, and exploiting you when you're at your most vulnerable.

You cannot help but feel the sheer incompetence when these things catch you off-guard. Its a feeling that I know a lot of folks would never want to experience again; not with the current economy anyway.

I was brought-in in my new organization in the midst of the merger activities from its latest major acquisition last year.

Throughout the year, I've been responsible at orchestrating mainly, merger related efforts and initiatives, and if I can say so my self, have been doing a relatively good job with it.

Until I came across this one project, which, is not really related with the merger program line-up, but is somehow intertwined. I say "somehow" not for lack of understanding, but because even at this point, the project's sponsors can't even tell me this much at this time.

So began what I thought was a routine run of implementing a 3rd partly integration of the latest logistics and administrative solution offering that the firm is just dying to get their hands-on. Little did I know that the project, not unlike it's name, is totally "out-of-track" and is just an accident waiting to happen.

I'm not sure how the problem began; perhaps it has something to do with the vendor not having proper documentation such as performance characteristics, whitepaper, logical/business diagram, or the fact that the vendor themselves doesn't seem to understand the internal workings of their product, but even at the very beginning, I know that the project is destined for rough waters.

The problem took little time to escalate to a technologists worst nightmare. Obviously, I could've done things a little differently now that I knew more what the outcome would be, but the fact that it feels like the firm is taking what is supposed to be something that would only take a single response (like performance characteristics or the application's heat maps...) is not a good tell-tale sign that things is just bound to be in chaos.

Very soon, I felt that the project needed to re-direct its efforts to drive out the gaps, which was supposed to be filled-out by the vendor in the first place. It's not an easy task trying to figure out something that the entire firm, save from a handful of folks from the vendor knows something about.

Clearly, my concern is that, with the end-of-year evaluation looming at the horizon - the dilemma of this one project whose gone berserk will overshadow my other works and would give a negative impression with the PMO in general.

As mentioned before, I was not the type who would re-tell whatever success I have with my other endeavors. I'm the type of person who'll not sound a beep at something, unless I'm having problems that require upper management's action.

I know this is a poor example of a person whose main line of work is to effectively manage impressions, but that just the way I was when I started with the firm.

Now, I'm struggling to set the record straight. And the fact that the firms 2010 book-of-work line up shows less than a quarter from 2009 troubles me a lot. This means that the firm might be looking at letting people go, because 2010 work demand is comparably smaller than during the merger year.

I'm concerned that with this one project, my future with this firm hangs on a "very thin thread".

Indeed, its a sad fact, being helpless. I know that I might be exaggerating with my worries, but you can't help but wonder "what-if scenarios" especially with my circumstances.

Sigh, I just wish this week is over (I'm expecting my quarterly evaluation meeting with the firms top guys by end of the week), cause worrying this much is an exhausting thing to do.

Whats the last thing you think before going to sleep?

What's the last thing you think of before pulling the shutters down?

I know this is a bit of a naive question, and obviously its really none of my business to ask... and no, I am not nosey...

I just wanted to know what most of us, whose amongst the corporate slave category, thinks of before drifting to "snoozeville"...

I guess you could say, I'm curious to know if you folks have the same train-of-thought...

Mine goes like this (not necessarily in the same order each time)

. . . .

What was the last problem/issue I encountered at work today? >>> How can I have handled it better? >>> What the fuck! I need to call out a meeting for that issue, I bet shit's gonna hit the fan by end of the week... >>> I wonder what's gonna be for breakfast when I get up? >>> Did I forgot any errands? >>> Airconditioner needs to be checked or serviced/not cooling the room properly... >>> Shit! I did forget some errands! Better hope the wife doesn't remember by tomorrow >>> Who was that girl on that movie? The one about the blonde chick with the chin? >>> (5-10 minutes goes by) >>> Reese Witherspoon? >>> Oh yeah, thats her! >>> Wait a minute, why the fuck do I always forget her name? >>> Christ, the electric bill is going to be out soon, wonder how much it is for this month? >>> I really need to schedule the airconditioner, maybe tone-down a couple of hours worth of using it per day... >>> Ha! It's too much of a bother, but I guess I'd talk to the wife about it tomorrow.... >>> Wow, pillows are getting extra comfy right now, need to pull the sheets over, cool air finally settling in.... >>> Think I forgot to say my prayers, crap I'm too lazy to do it now... I'll say two prayers later when I wake up... >>> ZZzzzzz....

Need an overhaul

Do you ever have those days where you feel locked-out? Caught like a deer on a headlight over meetings? Feeling like your running around with your head cut-off? Or maybe just felt inadequately out of control?

Sure, its probably caused by sheer exhaustion, or frustration with the daily runnings at work - but then again these could just be a factor amongst a combination of things...

I seriously think there should be some sort of study out there... and a statistic of how many of us, mortals are affected by this condition... just so we can go to the authorities and declare a pandemic or something...

Tried combing the web for self-help advises, but nothing so far seems to work... well, not in my case anyway.

I probably need to get a vacation anytime soon... a very looooonnngggg vacation!

I'm feeling claustrophobic with my current working scenario right now.

All the issues, deadlines, and more issues are like, starting to take its toll on me...

Dealing with frustrations at work is tricky...

I know, cause I must have tried every piece of advise I could get my hands on...

So here's three of the "best advices" I can find out there, and what it did for me:

Positive Thinking

The problem is, that when you go with the "positive" thinking crap - its just a short-term "fix"...

I mean sure, it does get you off for a day or two, but once you get back to reality, its like you never really went anywhere... so you end up being more miserable cause all you've proven was you can actually fool yourself... Delusion is not something anyone should welcome, I bet persistent practice of this method would either land you in a mental institute, or seriously shift your sense of reality...

Analyzing the root-cause

Sorting or analysing the cause of the issue is obviously more stressful work for most of us - something which I'm sure you don't want more of in the first place... So that piece-o'-crap advise didn't work either...

Meditation

Dealing with the problem by subscribing to "distractingly gay-ish" activities like yoga. meditation, or some other similar shit, only gives you more clarity of mind, in effect, "amplifies" your initial sentiments and frustrations since you can focus and analyze better....

I've tried that one, and look where I am right now?

. . . . .

Seriously, I feel like I need a complete overhaul these days....

Substancial Void

I was brought into a world, where there is absolutely no other substitute for success but being successful - a logic which, for some time looked perfectly right... after all, everything just seems to fit together... successful students tends to be the ones reaping the fruits of their efforts year after year (with merits, scholarships, etc), likewise, successful workers, tends to be the ones promoted first and with it... that synonymous leg-up on their pay amongst other gray stuff...

Success seems to be the single driving force that is only limited by how persevering and how committed a person is. Which for me, unfortunately, has also become the yard stick on which I measure happiness with... Success = happiness --- this was my 'desiderata', my mantra...

But now, reflecting on what I've really learned from the school of life... Success doesn't necessarily meant that you'll be happy... that success will not always guarantee that what's waiting for you at the end is something that you would like....

Of course, this could just be another mindless rant coming from an already tired, sleep-deprived, often times eccentric individual such as myself... but pause for a while and let the your mind do the talking for once... I just want you to basically ask yourself, if, from all your success right now, are you in any position that you can truly say that your either happy or content? Or did your previous success just leave you, hungrier for the next success niche?

True enough, I bet a lot of you would be candidly claiming that you are 'content' and 'happy' with where you are right now.... if so, then this post did not do shit... to you at least... so just bugger off!!!

If your answer is the same as mine, well, I want to share with you with a recent realization ---

success is not about achieving.. it is about looking back and validating
yourself for a job well done... It's not about hoping for a positive reward...
its about what you think your efforts have meant to yourself and to those around
you...

Try to reflect at what your recent success meant for you... and tell yourself whether its made a 'true' positive impact to you and your family

How risky is managing risks?

Risk Management seems second nature to most of the folks whose worked dedicatedly in technology.

Unfortunately, the reality is, no one really tells you anything about it in college, until you worked on your first project or coordinated your first end-to-end development, integration or deployment.

Initially your college built-in mentality is to whine, procrastinate, and frown at the idea because what you originally thought as something straight forward (ei. develop scripts/solution then deploy), now has to undergo rigorous process engagements, sometimes on several verticals, all in the name of "due diligence" or worst yet - "industry best practices". You quickly loose any sense of security once you realize that your technical designs or development codes will have to undergo several layers of testing, validation, reviews, even before you get a chance to present it to a board or committee for approval.

All of which boils down to this = more frigging work for you, bub!

Slowly, but surely, you warm up to the idea. Not only because you've accepted this as a part of your professional life, but also because you appreciate the security that these once bothersome processes and risk control measures now offer.

Enter Risk Management 101- tadah!

At it's basic form, Risk Management is really a collection of process groups and best practices in the industry aimed at, well... managing risks. (duh!)

Curiously, the process of risk management, doesn't just matter or start when the problematic engineer comes breaking your door down with a problem - most of the time, there are no dramatic one-liners like, "Houston, we have a problem" sort of a deal.

Because of the degree of financial impact, coupled by that ever-present obiquitous dilema on optimizing operations and efficiencies; risk management now is expected to be part of every business (or technology) undertaking - part of the mythical "initiation check lists".

Deductive reasoning (and common sense...) will tell you that managing "risks" would have a better chances if it was identified at the very earliest point in the endeavor, allowing you to have enough time to put together logical convergent planning around remediating or managing the said risk.

Running into risks and issues for every project or undertaking is a statistical certainty. That is why, it is essential to put up control measures, trackers, indicators, and mitigation and remediation plans to detect them early, and provide acceptable terms on how to deal with it, even before the "risk" materializes.

Project Management practices, hopes to address this key item, and several project management professionals have already put in countless hours and text, priceless advise to attempt to better recognize, process, and mitigate risk

Because of the fact that each and every project or endeavor comes with its own unique challenges and "personality", no single individual out there can truly say, they will have a comprehensive account of the format on the process of Risk Management that they can simply grab and refer to whenever they encounter any risk associated dilema.

From most of the materials out there, together with my set of experiences in project managing, I've put together a practical set of advises/recommendations, that you need to understand to be better equipped at managing risks.

Please feel free to put whatever you feel needed to be included on the list:

(1) Understand the requirement(s) per the task at hand - This is a crucial first step, which most "seasoned" professionals sometimes feel they're just "too good" for. Accepting that all projects/tasks are unique means that no amount of experience/tenure can ever truly say that an individual has all that he needs to know about anything to cover "all bases". Once you understand this fact, you can proceed to the next step.

(2) Set a regular review process with your team/groups to discuss and identify potential "risk -centers" constantly evaluating its relevance - Only after fully understanding the requirements will you be truly inclined to sit down and identify the unique risks and risk-centers associated for a particular endeavor. By creating an avenue to review and discuss these items with your group or team, will you be able to better identify (and sometimes...) understand what the entire "risk picture" would look like. Leveraging on your team with specific skill sets and rich experiences would mean that you are not only covering the risk under your set of expertise, but also, catching essential risk items that your team will most likely have more understanding of.

(3) Keep a risk register log and follow up on remediation requirements and delegation of tasks - by investing time and resources to your risk review meetings, the logical steps is to track and address key questions like, what are the remediation plans/steps for the identified risks? and who will be accountable for creating a remediation plan? In doing so, you will be at a better position to understand the impacts of these risks and obviously, would be more empowered at addressing and assessing them according to an over-all go forward approach

(4) Follow up and communicate to management these risks - In order to better align the objectives of each undertaking, you need to communicate all associated risks, especially ones that would have financial, or operational impacts to management. This could easily be accomplished if you've been keeping my 3rd advise above.

(5) Delegate the risk, or assign it to any particular invidual or group for remediation - This means that once you've identified the risk, drawn up a form of remediation plan, you need to assign the risk item to the individual better suited to address the said item.

G-Spot horror story

The plot

There was a heated discussion amongst my colleagues in the office one day, about the existence of the male g-spot.

Obviously, there was really no clear point on the discussion, it was all just some perverted way (by someone) to past the time over lunch break....

The guys even suggested that there was a wiki document out there, detailing the actual location of the male erogenous zone.. I obviously have to see it for myself, although, I flatly (or shall I shall I say, disgustedly...) dismissed that such an article does not (or should not) exist at all, let alone be documented in Wiki...

Homophobes be warned

So, just for argument's sake, I did go into Wikipedia and hit the search button for the text criteria "male g-spot" which landed me here, nothing really new there....

Then I thought that since I was out on the web anyway, I'd try hitting a search on google for the same text, and came across this rather disturbing forum entry, from an obviously "happy" guy giving a "blow by blow" instruction about "stimulating" the supposed male g-spot...

All I can say was, "what the god-damn fuck!?!!?!", while read the first few lines hitting ALT-F4 after about 3.75 seconds into the article....

Unfortunately though, I'm a fast reader, and basically got a "lot" of unwanted information off with those 3.75 seconds I now, regrettably spent reading that shit of an article...

My life, I can now say, will be forever scarred at this point... I'd probably end up old and broke paying for therapy with the traumatic experience...

The damage, in my case, will be irreversible...

*AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

For what it's worth, I want to leave you, kind readers with this trivia, in a futile attempt, wash off all that filth you most definitely would be needing Doctor Phil's therapy from later on....

Trivia: Can you find where this "hottie's" g-spot is?

Vicious cycle

I always try to put some sort of explanation to any shit that happens... After all, shit does happen, right?

Sure, I also, mostly, jump to conclusions, initially, but then, my more "mature" side always kicks in, which would then start me off on the process of logically assessing the situation, culminating with me drawing up either a scientifically conclusion, or form of assumption based on deductive reasoning...

Coming back to my point (and I promise I do have one this time!)... If there's one thing that I dislike about myself is the fact that I often times go against what I preach... I mean, I am calm, logical, and reasonable when it come to addressing matters affecting other people.

But, when shit comes my way... I turn completely opposite!

Be that as it may, I am sort of a reactive Eddie, never really backing down on any point, until all the fumes past, and I'm all by my self...

Often, I would find myself disengaged after a conflicting event, just reviewing what I would've done better at that time. In the end, I'd formulate some sort of resolution, and start telling myself that "this is what I'm going to do next time this shit happens again..."

Next shit happens, guess what? Same routine... I'd be bitching, biting, exaggerating, mostly because I either:

a) don't care about no damn resolution
b) Just really not understanding the point of being logical at that time
c) I'm almost always right anyway, so why bother analyzing the shit?

Which obviously brings me back to where I started with this... So, I want to put the question out there and ask - "Is this thing normal?"

I mean, if there is any shrink out there who could give me free advise, I urge you, for the love of god, help me resolve this already cause its getting too damn old!

Those were the days, my friend....

Once, I dreamed of being an influencial, tech-savvy corporate warrior... A suave, tech-talking, smooth-walking, semantics-playing, regression-testing, keyboard-punching, monitor-staring, network-architecting, name-calling, bluetooth-wearing techno-freak!

But now though, I couldn't care for anything else, except to live a normal life, sleeping on normal hours, doing normal inane things, like talking about, nonsense, sometimes whimsical topic items.

Having a conversation over coffee on something quaint like flipping pancakes, boiling an egg, re-arranging the furniture, driving the car until you run out of gas, walking for hours in the rain, cracking my knuckles until it hurts, waving goodbye while sitting on the curb of a busy street, flying a kite, whistling a tune, tossing in bed, playing with my kids, drinking off the milk carton, scooping sand then flailing it to the ocean, reading a good book, polishing my shoe, scrubbing the floor, surfing the boob-tube, reading a comic book, stacking up boxes, watching the sunset, cursing across empty space, getting a hi-five, giving a hi-five, counting the hours, or just planning the next stupid grocery lists...

You know, simple shit like that...

Sigh... I wish life could be as it once was....

Oh, well - back to reality D... Crap! I needed those infrastructure designs an hour ago... wtf is this guy doing?!?! I swear risk architects are the biggest frigging drama queens you'd ever work with!!!

Half Baker's dilema

Most of the time, I find myself cooking up half baked business ideas and making it rich...

Then, I burst forth with adrenaline about a dose of pointless researching, statistical analysis, cross indexing, until finally, I convince myself the same two possibilities that I ended with on the my last half-baked idea:

(1) It will work, but it requires much time, commitment, and of course capital.
(2) IT WON'T WORK...

Seriously, who amongst us have even began to take the "risks" and just blindly run with the stuff we concoct?

Half baked ideas are only good if your at your wits end (i.e. you got sacked, or your co-workers rat you out that you we're moonlighting with the competition...) and have nothing to loose...

I know it could just be because, due to all those time of countless hours of brain-washing session we call school years... we all got that insidious fear of risking it all for something uncertain...

It not only takes courage and prudence to switch your realities at a snap of a finger. Sometimes, it also requires something not quite easily given out.... yep, you guessed it... Faith

A dose of self inflicted bitch slapping

I just got recently got the biggest wake-up call this time around in my professional life...

No longer will I be basing my self-judgement on my previous accomplishments, merits, awards or job position...

Today I realized that although delivering the job is essential - it is no longer enough of a qualifier to say that you've done the job well.

For me, now, it is the process and the manner of how you deliver the requested matter that really counts.

In the not so distant past, I proudly celebrated how I managed to elevate myself, and my professional career to where it is now - on the "egotistical" grounds that I'm simply smarter, stronger, faster, and more ambitious than anyone else in my age group.

I never give any thoughts on the fact that wisdom is not something that comes in a packaged, pre-cooked, just pop it in a microwave oven sort of a deal and you're set for the next challenge sort of stuff...

Thinking back, I felt as if I lost track of the reality that life isn't about who's ahead, but about how you enjoy the ride, and in the process, constantly take notes on opportunities for improving yourself no matter how small it may seem...

Growing up, I recall, that I wasn't always concerned about those things. I was predominantly there for the"thrill" factor... the rush that you get by being the first one to finish the test exam (with flawless scores of course!), or being the first on the honor roll list, or some stupid thing like that....

I desire competition, for the shallow reason that I can later on mock the other fellow once I crossed the finish line first and leave him/her sucking down dirt and fumes...

It's basically an immature aspect in my personality that I've just recently found to be extremely repulsive... Something, that at this point, I am not very much proud of.

I've cut-corners, lied, cheated, and bribed my way if I have to, just to stay ahead of the pack...

In the past, its only about, me coming up on top, or me being the first at this thing and that... pathetic... I know.... but yes, I am, for the most part, guilty as charged...

Having this realization at this point of my professional life is proving to be a big drag... because now, I'm constantly doubting myself, my judgement, my call....

No longer the trigger happy, maveric cowboy, the "know-all-coz-I-am-the-best" kind of an attitude...

I slump back, trying to evaluate and sometimes, re-evaluate every angle in everything that I do now... sometimes, I even find myself struggling with efficiency, simply because now, I take an extra time to come up with a decision...

Is that a bad thing?

In the end though... like what that great saying goes... "Let none but history judge me..."

At least that what it looks like from where I am now...

**Big friggin' sigh!

Scare Bear

AH1N1 cases totalled 447 today.

Just want to call out the fact that besides being blindly terrified of this bug, I'm just totally mortified of the thought that after working hard in the office, tucking my shoes, coming home from work -- I could very well be passing the virus, unknowingly to my loved ones (especially my kids), who'se come to answer the door and excitedly plants me a well deserved kiss!

And what is the fucking deal with this old saying "well, when its your time...."...????

I really hate the fact that some old-fart, wittered bastard blasted out such idiotic nonsense, probably at the dawn of his remaining soddy, pathetic life on this planet, and found an entire society reciting his mantra like it was something so natural to accept!

Such idiotic ideas are really what's making this entire pandemic scene play out for the worst --- people totally intolerant of other people's lives...

Sure, it's a pathetic, and honestly so, quite catchy of a phrase sort of a claim to your reason, but think about it... Kids are the only real victims on every pandemic/epidemic crisis that's broken out since man decided to come of age...

And no, I don't give pity if you're old, gray, and just decided to tell me that "when it's your time, its your time..." you pathetic piece of sordid crap!

Another rant on the economic fall-out

Trying your best to survive in the midst of the global economic fall-out can be a daunting task indeed.

In fact, it is little known that the best place to be right now is here - Mi Patria Adorada!

The US economy, still buckling from financial distress, posted a 12% unemployment rate (YTD). This was never before seen on US soil even during the market crash of the '80s, some say that the continuing effects might be even bigger than the great depression of the 1930's.

The European union is sadly on the same boat. With the exception of the United Kingdom, the average unemployment rate in Europe is tapering up at 8% (YTD); UK posting 7% unemployment.

Compare all this with what the Philippine unemployment rate is at present (13.2%) and you very quickly realize that life in this 3rd World country isn't that bad after all.

Of course, no one knows what the figures would look like once the global economy swings in the up and up - but at this point, we should not be in any position to complain.

The reality is, the Philippine market, although battered, bruised, and has been in the intensive care unit since the last Asian financial fall-out of the '90s - is proving to be resilient primarily due to one factor --- our labor force.

The Philippines is known for it's westernized culture. With the country's 98% literacy rate, and the english language being a secondary language. We got what it takes to secure our place in the BPO race.

The one thing that troubles me though, is the fact that the country is showcasing Filipino labor as cheap labor - which should never be the case.

Filipinos in general, tired of the hard life, will accept anything that comes their way, as long as its enough to simply bring food on the table.

As a technologist, it's really a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that specialized expertise in the IT industry in other parts of the world is fetching much more than what they are offering us.

Indian's didn't do much to help clear this out by the way...

I remember that I once came across a statistic that for every Filipino Engineer, you get at least 2-3 Indian Engineers....

Although I am in no position to comment on their economic processes, I feel that they are doing an injustice to Asian technologist world-wide. I don't want to go on a lecturing rampage, because as you may know, I am partly biased

So, I decided to take it into myself, to pull no stops in developing my skills and expertise, as long as I can, and as prudent as I can so that when push comes to shove, I will bargain for something that I truly feel I'm worth for...

The employment market in the country is a sham... this I know, but, like what the great Warren Buffet once said - "Opportunity comes when you let it in..."

I understand if you feel that I idea like this is egotistic... but let's face it... who wouldn't want to get the dues that's right for them?

People under estimate their worth sometimes that for the sake of securing a job, they would let negotiations drag them to the ground.... and still they'd put their John Hancock on the dotted line... Pity really...

On piece of advise that my mentor told me (which was actually my boss on my very first job) does me good... and it goes like this....

"Assess yourself, find out what your strengths are and re-enforce them,
then find out what your weaknesses are and set goals to turn them around...
but most importantly, find out what your most passionate on... then pull no
stops and work your ass off to pursue them until the soreness and pain,
hurts no more....

Then, when the moment is right, bring all that you have on the
negotiation table and watch them fight amongst themselves for you..."

Bosses are like an inspirational book... They're full of insight and wisdom... you just have to develop your reading habits....

Keep learning the lessons in life... you've got an entire lifetime to do it anyway!!! =)

Sighting hope...

Another week is almost over.

I'm still reeling from the stress and anxiety that started last week.

I almost totally missed out on my deliverables on one of my big projects!

I wanted this project to be my ice breaker; my launch pad, my opportunity to get on to the firm's top brass' radar. So you can just imagine how big of a deal this thing is to me - watching project deliverables impact project milestones in a tightly scheduled deal is not for the faint hearted... Especially if the project would impact operations... And swings to the tune of $ 3.7 Million in possible losses....

It's like being subjected to re-runs of Aga Mulach's 'Oki Doki Dok' day in and day out on your holiday break. It's a hellish nightmare....!

What disgusts me the most is the fact that it's partly due to my own doing.

I was over confident.

I was complacent.

I was a fool.

There comes a time, when managing people meant that you scratch their back, and expect that they scratch yours - but times have changed since then.

I think it's time to seriously re-evaluate my management approach. In fact, I think it's time to show them who's boss. Shift gears. Lick the five's... Bring the noise, dammit...!

Being a newbie doesn't really give you much help. Especially in an organization as big and as prestiguous as this...

I figure, I could extend the 'honeymoon phase' ever-so-slightly, since, I'm still testing much of the water in the firm.

...didn't really felt comfortable working with virtual teams and people whose already in the industry even before I graduated primary school.

But enough is enough - I need to re-organize and center myself, if I want to stay on top of things. If I want to stay in control...

*Big sigh...

Been in a depression since coming down with the flu last week. The pressures at work didn't really give me enough reason not to.

A lot of things comes to my mind. Stuff at work... Stuff at home... Generally everything else that's going on with me right now feels all in shambles... Lost...

I even tried to analyze (well, over-analyze) my decision of coming back home... I really think I should've done more reflection on this particular decision... It's not that I am not happy with my job right now... It's just that, certain factors which are incidental with my present job distorts my life at the moment - like being in a perpetual graveyard shift for instance... That kind of shit can ruin a man, you know...

Looking back with what happened this week, I'd like to sum it up with the words my boss gave me today during our one-on-one meeting....

"don't get yourself too chalked up about any situation, especially if you're hosed down, because then, you really don't have the capacity to evaluate yourself.... Just take a step back; push back if you need to... And never, ever, come up with a decision simply because the situation calls for it... It's always desirable to cover your ass, if you know all the facts and options up front..."

--- classic power suit advise!!!

Just the thing I need to jolt me up and get me moving again... Sei la vie...

Joined Another PTC

I joined another PTC program today - its called Neobux...

This is actually brought on by my apparent success with my previous PTC account on bux.gs...

So far, Bux.gs has credited my about a $ 0.25 for 2 days worth of clicking ads- not really a lot, but at least I'm turning something idle into cash - my ADSL connection.

I'm not really putting much attention to this at the moment, I'm still on a wait and see mode.

Neobux and Bux.gs along with most PTC Sites are working on the same platform - you click an advertisement and earn, you refer another person to join, and when they click an ad, you also earn... It's a simple revenue sharing scheme than anyone can try...

I figure, since I'm basically living on the internet (thanks to my job) anyway and it's not costing me anything to join it's just another task I could easily fit in on my daily grind...

So far, it's taken me around 5 minutes to complete the click through for both...

I mean, really, if I could spend that 5 minutes (per day) into an income generating activity, regardless of the measly payout, I figure, it would have given me a better insight with the ageless proverb --- 'time is gold' =)

Actually, if you think about it, 5 minutes a day, is really not that much... I mean, what can you really do in 5 minutes? Finish a cigarette? Snooze the alarm clock? Relieve yourself? Brush your teeth? Send a fax document?

But what if you could turn that 5 lousy minutes into a positive income for yourself, I'd say, what the heck... I'll try anything once anyway...

So, there you go... Why not try turning 5 minutes of your time into income...

All you need to do, is register either with Neobux or Bux.gs and use some of your time for something meaningful - like earning for once... They say that time basically is constant for everyone... the only difference is what you do with yours...

Earning Opportunities from home

Wow, it has really been a while since my last post.

Anyway, just wanted to tell you guys all about one of my discoveries.

I'm actually looking at cashing in with some online programs as so many of my contemporaries do at the moment.

I tried joining in a couple of programs based on the following preferences:

Joining should be free
Does not include selling services or products
Totally 100% scam free - this is based on the available reviews, commentaries available online
Proof of Pay outs from other online earners.

Anyway, based on the above, I tried joining this one for paid advertisements and here for affiliate marketing prorams...

Simply register and start earning away!!!

Try joining now and we can take the journey together....

I'll post more on my progress on these shortly...

Caught on the web

I've been eager to get into other banking instruments to rev up my salaried finances that I've been frequenting banking sites lately...

Yes, you heard me right! From time deposits, to bonds and stocks, I've been spending most of my time online on bank websites, forums or portals which talks about alternative mediums for making money work for you, and not the other way around.

It's little known that despite the global economic recession, the Philippine Market, has had very good reviews since the start of the year. Of course the margins are smaller (way too small) than those before recession, but I guess that's really what you would expect if everyone else's economy is on recession.

So, not really sure if anyone of you readers can help me out on identifying other sources of investing money. Don't respond and just say, 'Well you should try going into business or franchising a business' or some shit like that. Because everyone here knows that fanchising in the Philippines is the first one to be in 'limbo' when the global economy stutters (next to real estate related investments), and from the looks of it, would be in 'limbo' well until next year.

I'm talking more about investment related financial devices, but not the 'bumbay' / loanshark sort of activities... some thing concrete, quantifiable, and repeatable.

Money Market perhaps? What about foreign exchange businesses?

For the above mentioned, I don't have the slightest clue, even if my life depends on it, on what or how businesses of these nature runs/operates, but from the sheer amount of stories I've heard after coming back, are just too fantastic to ignore...

If you can't face the heat...

Today, I just realized that the global warming crisis might be contributing more than adding an extra 1-2 meters of the sea levels, or skewing the weather systems...

I am not a believer of astrology in general, but I think that the recent turn of events on the weather. might be playing a part on the level of stress, exhaustion and mentality of people around workplaces.

I'm not sure if it's just me, but for some reason, things are getting awfully stressful in my workplace. Between the deadlines and resource managing, the projects and tasks seems to be escalating, both in complexity and in nature.

I've been through several similar circumstances, but there would be immediate reprieve if for example, you could get a key task item in the green. Now, its a little more of one item - green, another item - turns amber (or God forbid, just blares out 'Red').

Key in project managing is identifying and documenting known (and on some extent, unknown) risks and dependencies. It's the basic foundation for a sound management in all aspects - may it be for business, personal decisions, or projects.

It turns out that as summer approaches in the States, people suddenly turned into little 'energizer bunnies' raring to run amock at the drop of a hat.

Not helping at all on my now, growing remorse over my current employment detail, which by the is still reserved from judgement - since I've been in 'Disneyland' for the past 2 or so years in my previous career.

Reflecting on the nature of my current firm, I am, at this point, unsure at how to react to this new cascade of stimulus. I'm always telling myself that it's probably the age that getting to me, turning 30 this year, I am practically mortified that I've already explored the extent of my technical and personal skills. I am worried that I've already saturated myself from adjusting, empowering, or updating any of the key weapons that I have in my armory, when it comes to employment and employability.

In the not so distant past, I fancy myself as a quick-to-respond, flexible, dynamic person, just ready to take in the next worthy challenge - careerwise, that is. But now, I'm finding myself asking a break to soak in what is happening.

I think the problem really is, I've been indulging on my vanity all this time that when reality finally caught me, I've completely forgotten how to react and how to fight back.

In other words, I think I might be on my way to a career/skill recession...

What about you? How did you cope/manage that feeling of being overwhelmed from a career perspective? Did you take meds? Yoga? Alternative theraphies like sky diving? Appreciate if you guys could say your piece on this one...

Delayed Gratification

Despite my lack of motivation to write nowadays, I can't deny that I missed writing on my blog.

Well, I dont want to turn this post into a mini-novel so I'm just going to give you a summary of what occured during my last haitus.

If you have not heard yet, we moved to our new flat last March 16. Yes, it was another compromise that basically necessitated the decision to move, but looking back, I am happy about the decision and at this point, am not harboring any doubts about it at all.

Coming back from Muscat, its been exactly, 6 months. To date, I am still reserving the right to judge whether this decision to go back home is the right one. Albeit my last entries, which obviously was motivated by stress, I am now, more than ever clear about the objectives that I am to consider.

The decision to stake our own flat was based on a whole new approach that my wife and I has been talking about since we got back. It's basically restraining yourself until all the necessary requirements have been completed.

Let me site a classic example - furnishing the flat! Despite my compulsion to just go out and shop for furnishings, we opted to take another route, the hard route, of actually identifying the essential pieces of furnishings and appliances, and basically putting off the rest until we got all the right factors locked-down (classified according to Cost/Budget, Functionality, Product Life).

Unlike my/our previous approach of "go-out-and-buy-everything-because-you-have-enough-money-for-purchases-anyway" which did not worked very well for me...

Anyway, the new approach opened my mind, and has given me a very big advantage, something that I've been missing all this time - and that is, practicality...

Don't judge me now, but in the past, I always go for branded furnishing/appliances under the impression that brand names begets quality. Although this approach has not let me down just yet, but getting to understand how you get by without a certain piece of furnishing or appliance makes you realize the actual value versus cost of any particular item.

Take for example bed frames. Well, for all accounts, I fully understood the value that this piece of furnishing brings. Actually, the first item on our furniture list is a bed frame (make that two, since my daughted will be staying on her own bed).

We went through the usual intelligence gathering - scouting for the best deal, collecting and comparing info and all that stuff. With all of that, I found out that the prices for bed frames on this part of the world are simply outrageous! So, we opted not to get them now, and just do like what the japanese folks do - bed sans frame.

Initially, I wasn't really happy with the idea. Because first of all, though the bed is comfortable enough, with or without a bed frame, we weren't really sure whether we could live with the constant fear of that all too friendly 'unwanted house guests' (a.k.a. Freddie Roach's little known step-brother, 'Mr. Caque') which comes with every home as a 'bonus feature'.

But we figure, the house is new (presumably built late 2006), it looked clean enough, and has only been occupied for a week. In short, it was as if the unit was just turned over right before we moved in.

The result - well for one thing, I've re-gained an appreciation of the japanese setup. I mean, the bed doesn't move when someone does like when you got it on a bed frame. And because we have a toddler with us on the bed, we could actually rest easy and not think about the baby rolling himself to a face plant everytime we doze off.

The benefit - reduced cost and an improved sleeping experience.

I'm actually recommending it to anyone, whose thinking about buying a bed frame!

Of course you have to always make sure your keeping the sorroundings clean and spiff, otherwise, you might just find yourself smooching over Mr. Caque's (six) hairy legs (eeewwww!).

I'm actually looking forward in posting how the other stuff we put off acquiring would be benifiting us, as well as posting some pictures of our new home

The Man from Manila, dead at 44 YO

Francis Magalona, was pronounced dead at around 12 PM on Friday, March 6th 2009, after a brief, but nonetheless well fought, bout with Acute Myeloid Leukemia since it was diagnosed on August 8th 2008.

His passing has turned out mixed emotions from me. Personally, I wasn't always giving him high regards. I felt a little distressed when I first hear his single "Mga kababayan".

I mean, admittedly, the song has a catchy sort of spunk, but it just too darn right commercialized.

And personally, I wasn't really into the whole rap thing back then - I felt grown men singing nursery rhyme-ish tunes were just down right silly... just think of Vanilla Ice back in the days and you'll understand what I'm trying to get at here....

I thought that its another cheap stunt to save a then, childstar hasbeen's career from the dumpster.

Most of the time, that's how I always tag people in the commercial showbusiness industry --- just another wannabee jumping in the band wagon, think, Carlos Agassi (aka. Fag-in-skidz-clothing) during the height of his so called "rap career".

Anyway, the following interludes to Francis M's single however, finally caught my attention.

It is his commitment to a recurring theme in his compositions that made me realize that he might actually be the real deal...

It's the nationalistic message interlaced with his songs, and actual compositions that talks about something sensible, that changed my impression.

Throughout highschool, I remember listening to his songs (with the Jimmy Hendrix reminicent riffs on his other single "Kaleidoscope World"), courtesy of my younger brothers collection, and being moved (somewhat) by how cunningly his words reflect some of my thoughts at that time...

His "lyricism" served as the battlecry of the youth (at least to me and a couple of my friends), in the midst of the wave of punk, death, pop, and funk rock that plied the airwaves back then.

I guess that's how Francis M's songs appealled to many of our kababayans... He's one of those people who could influence you by merely mirroring what the world is to all of us... not unlike the late hip hop great Tupac....

The man from Manila, will surely be missed....

Securing your USB Flash Drives

The inventor of the USB Flash Drives should be accorded a Nobel Prize or something.

I can no longer imagine living life without it, frankly, I don't even remember how I lived when this trusted tool has not yet touched out lives...

I remember picking out my first cool 3.5" micro-floppy blue colored with yellow streaks Verbatim disk keeper back in highschool. I used to pride myself over the idea that I can carry around my data, like a true data warrior! I'd have an assortment of pre-apps on there - MS DOS, NAV, Turbo C, and even an installer copy of the then, rave of network gaming, Dune 2000.... Ha! Those were the days!

Going back to my point - today's data warriors are equipped with sleek looking devices which can sometimes be mistaken for a keychain or a pocket utility knife. They come in various shapes, sizes, and even functionalities - today, USB Flash Disks are not even limited to just data storage - they often come together with neat features like MP3/MP4 players, Utility functions like pocket lights or ball point pens...

Along with all these features and convinience though comes the sad fact that you might also be carrying around an assortment of viruses, malware, and what have you's, ignorantly spreading them around without the slightest clue...

Enter, one of the best solutions I've discovered so far... USB Firewall 1.1.3

This nifty software basically acts as your first line of defence over those baddies that catch a ride on them pocket drives,,,

It not only alerts you of intrusion from the USB Device, it also helps you identify the source of the virus/malware, stop it or otherwise delete it. You dont even have to update any virus definitions to get your rig up to date security.

The application itself is very compact and once installed it runs silently as a service in the background and only turns itself on once you insert the USB Drive.

USB Firewall is actually free, and if you want to get the link, you can just leave me your email/contact information and I'll PM you the link. Or email me directly here

One disadvantage though is that, although its virus detection is very good, it often misses on identifying pre-existing virus infection that may already be in your system. Meaning it's still a must to keep a full antivirus software to clean up whatever this software misses.

Here's a screenshot courtesy of one of our friends from the blogosphere:

Our own pad in PI

Sometimes, things happen for a reason. But as I learned the hard way - often times, you have to give a reason for things to actually take place.

We are planning to move to our own place by 3/15 and I'm still having mixed emotions about it. Although I know that it is the natural thing to do, like what we did not long ago - I feel uneasy about the idea.

Maybe its because we never really had a good enough experience to take whenever we decide to get a place of our own. We always end up either folding up too soon, because we can afford it. Or move out from the flat because we failed to manage our monthly finances.

I know that it will be another big adjustments for everyone in my family. I'm just hoping that this time, we could stick around longer.

I like the idea of having your own place. I mean, who wouldn't. But despite my enthusiasm, I cannot hide the fact that I am also mortified. Scared of the truth that we might end up repeating the same mistakes we did in the past. Scared shitless that this will be once again, another exercise in futility.

I beg to differ about everyone else's opinion of money matters and financial management. I feel that somehow, I should know better than they are since I've experienced these challenges several times over in the past.

Believe it or not, after everything that I've been through, I'm still clueless as to whether or not we'll be able to pull this off... but I got to do what I got to do...

This time around... I need to do a good job...

Exploding the mental fatigue myth

I've started reading another one of Dale Carnegie's books again...

I'm sure a lot of you have already read this one, but I've only gotten my hands on it as of late... the title of the book is "How to stay happy with your Life and Job"

Don't ask me why I bought it, I just somehow ended with a copy of the book at hand while I was queuing to pay for my eldest school supplies last week...

It was a curious read...

Well. okay, I admit it... I've always been a fan of the Dale Carnegie series, I've got most of his books, but this one.... so there...

Anyway, on one of the chapters of the book, the author was talking about fatigue... or what is properly known as, "diminished capacity to work" within medical circles...

What caught my attention is the passage which explains why sedentary workers, or professionals who sit on a desk all day, has no right to complain about being fatigued by the end of the day...

The author further explained that, a study was conducted to test for toxins in the blood confirmed that physical workers, whose basically involved with manual labour, does accumulate what they term as "fatigue toxins", which you feel whenever you engage in any form of physical exertion.

The study tested both sedentary workers and physical workers and found that at the end of the day, they both registered elevated levels of these "fatigue toxins". The question being pointed is, okay, we understand why a carpenter or laborer would feel tired after the day's shift but why would a sedentary worker show the same behaviour too?

Is it, mental fatigue?

No!

A conclusive study found out that the brain, does not give off "fatigue toxins", in fact it is the only organ in the human body which does not take a day off, not even when you sleep at night! Your brain is still hard at work monitoring vital body functions, while the rest of you "recharge" from the day's strenuous activities....

The study further elaborates that, great thinkers, like the ranks of Albert Einstein, and Carl Sagan, don't register any elevation of these "fatigue toxins" at the end of an 8-hour work day, even though their mental exertion could best any sedentary workers output in any day....

So what is the reason? Simple...

Sedentary workers register the same behaviour of elevated "fatigue toxins" as manual laborers because of muscular strain. Period!

The psychology behind the idea is mind boggling... actually, it's mind-freeing!

The fact is, that when ever professionals work, we strain or put our bodies into a condition which mimics physical strain... Simply reading your boss' correspondence, we squint our eyes, or curl up our brows.... this is because, it was how we evolved...

Human beings started as hunter-gatherers, and the skills involved necessary to survive back then only requires physical strength, dexterity, and maybe a little bit of ingenuity... a successful hunt means that we need to devote both energy and physical resources to the hunting effort itself...

Fast forward million of years, and little has changed... the office warrior, through a lifetime worth of habit formation, develops this auto-response of justifying good work with an "action of strain or exertion"....

That is why, we strain our eyes when we read/concentrate on reports, or lock our shoulders when we attend board meetings, or tighten up our necks when we do our taxes...

All that tension, anxiety and stress is what's causing the fatigue, much like the manual laborers when they go about with their daily duties...

Going back to the study... great thinkers, never had this problem.... why? because they've managed to develop the habit of relaxing while in the process of intense mental workout... and the author suggests that we could also adopt this habit....

The rewards of course, needs no further explanation, but obviously, you would expect an improvement in your efficiency, much like a well-timed engine, you'd blaze across anything which requires mental, physical work... your focus would also be enhanced since you're more relaxed and balanced, its an entire lifestyle change altogether....

One of the exercise suggested is taking time to pause and go through a minute to tell yourself to relax.... then get to the most comfortable position you could be in, which of course would mean that you won't be compromising anything that is essential to your task at hand... like, you can't be lying down why making a presentation to the board of directors... get the picture?

Anyway, go ahead and try the exercise... close your eyes.... then slowly tell yourself, relax... relax... relax.... relax eyes... relax.... in between deep breaths.... do this for the entire duration of a minute... then open your eyes...

Did you feel refreshed?

I hope it worked the same for you as it was for me when I first tried it... remember the saying... "The body often follow what the mind dictates"... this is a known fact that traditional eastern medicine, and yoga gurus have been exploiting for centuries now... in short, this stuff really works...

The book advises that you should do this as regular and as often as you can.... over time, this would become like a reflex... it becomes a habit... an automatic response that you can employ to boost not just your physical condition, but improve your life as well....

This part of the book made me realized that I've been wasting precious years in my life procrastinating and wasting my energy and time... I should have taken notice of this fact early on...

I mean, you don't need a book at all to tell you that stress + fatigue = bad health....

I mean why is it that a lot of sedentary workers die young? Proof? Well, just look into the Sunday paper's list of Obituaries and you'll see people on their 50's, early 60's dead.... People whose lifestyle is that of a sedentary worker, sometimes even esteemed professionals altogether... just because all they did was a accumulate a lifetime's worth of stress with their lives....

I vow to make a complete overhaul of my life based on this truth... I think you should also start too...

Panagbega 2009

Just got back from our weekend trip to Baguio to attend the Panagbega '09 festival.

I have for the most part been complaining about the entire trip... It was for me, a total waste of time, money and effort!

The stupid festival is so over-rated! I hate the hotel, I hate the hotel staff, hate the cabbies, hate the walking, hate the noise that doesn't let you sleep at night, hate over-charging morons, and most of all, I hate the fact that there were no hot water running on the stupid tap!

I guess, its not a total waste since my family got a kick from the whole ordeal...

much to my expenses though =(

I'll never attend one of this stupid events ever again!!!!

Technology Project Manager

Amidst all that we've done to better ourselves or attempt to do a perfect job comes this question: why do we always end up wondering if we could have done things a little differently or done it better, given another chance.

This is probably truer with my case as the flow and complexity of every technical project I got on my plate varies tremendously.

I find that it is often not an issue of the proverb "measure twice, cut once" sort of approach.

Because basically, you could might as well be measuring a millions times, and still end up cutting it a million times more...

This is the reality that project managers face from across the industry.

Technologists in particular, are carrying the full fury of this fact. As many of those who have the privilege to work in the technical industry know, that what you know today will somehow be obsolete within the next 18 months.

Of course there are exceptions in all cases, including this industry, but this just goes to show the tremendous challenges that face technologists in general.

So how do you cope with all of this?

The PMI (Project Management Institute), a community of professionals in pursuit of the study of the subtle arts of project management, suggests an industry accepted framework along side a body of knowledge collected from the contributions of countless project management professionals throughout the years.

But even they know that in order to keep up with the Jones', you have to re-assess your craft at specific periods in time. They recommend re-validating your skills/knowledge every 12 months.

Personally, I am not a big fan of something that forces you to change what you know from time to time...

Nor am I thrilled at the idea of having to change my entire infrastructure build plan just because those geeks over at M-labs decided how to build better VPN security tiers toward the closing months of the year.

But somehow, I survive it all, and on occasion, I even surprise myself as I see myself thriving amidst what seemingly chaotic and random world that is IT.

I bet my ability to adapt came from my mother side of the family.

Mom, is almost always the flexible one in the family. She could easily connect the dots and cross the T's in any situation. She can spot any small variations in any circumstance and cook up a probable solution while others would've given up days ago. In other words, she likes solving crossword puzzles and similar things.

But then again, having the capability to see the "fine lines and draw at them" would not get you far if you don't have the right information/knowledge to help you through it.

That's when my dad's side comes in.

Dad, is more of the methodical thinker. He would analyse a situation at face value and recommend the best possible solution based on an information that he's got stored away in his memory banks. He's a voracious reader, someone who's taught me the value of continuing education and that learning only stops when you expire...

Put the two together and you have a power combination of characteristics, which hopefully, would prove to be the winning formula in the career I've chosen to thread.

Project Management is actually a perversion for technologists like me. Because it's something to do with technology, but not really. It's a whole new field of specific skills, processes and knowledge.

But having seen the power of technology first hand, I felt the next logical step is to get into managing how to make technology work for you best. It's really all about thinking of a solution, then trying to make all the different technical components work together, in a specific time frame, with a specific scope, and budget.

I believe, that given another chance to choose between whether to remain as a technologist or project management, I believe the next evolution, would definitely point to the latter, if, and only if, you are really a technologist at heart.

Budget et al

Budget.

Is the singular source of frustration of every person, on every household on the face of the earth.

It's amazing how this six letter word affects out daily lives, most of the time, without us knowing about it until its time to run the numbers and tally the receipts by the end of each month.

In the past, I never really put much thought into it; something which I fear would be causing me continued episodes of distress towards latter in life.

I admit that I am not one of those who really give much attention on how to effectively budget your money.

I did have a previous notion though of how to budget one's income. Which was, pay what you need to pay and hope that your making enough to actually have something left over for savings.

Often times, I find myself, putting conscious effort into budgeting that I often fall victim to what is called the "recoil effect" wherein, like in one of those countless diet fads, you try to control it, then you end up frustrated because of the slow rate of progress, so you procrastinate and end up binging, meaning you go out of your way and basically throw the calculator and spreadsheets off the window.

So how do one make the most out of the tricky business of monetary management?

Well, I don't want to disappoint you guys as I won't have fancy financial lessons like most people in the biz; but what I do have are some of the top learning points which I've painfully discovered over the years.

You can totally use them to come up with your own conclusion to help you curb the weight of your out of control spending... or hopefully, something of similar effect.

1. Budgeting should never be a singular effort. Meaning if you're a family man, or your living in with a significant other, chances are you need to get everybody on board with your plan or you better off not having one at all.


2. Budgeting always looks an exciting thing to do at first but it generally turns out too frustrating as you go along.


3. Creating a precise budget plan is like writing on a piece of papyrus, which, like the material, somehow finds its way, buried within the catacombs that is your desk .


4. Budgeting is never an exact science, although a lot of you out there may frown at this statement, a whole bunch of you are still trying on the budget scheme that actually works for you, despite professional materials being available in the guise of self-help books, accountants, money mentors, etc...


5. Resisting unwarranted spending is never easy as it sounds. Most of the time you come up with valid reasons why you "need" to buy that gadget, or that new shirt when you least expect it. Not being able to justify the ends with the means, you'd find yourself caving in more sooner than you think.


6. Never start a budget plan when you don't have an exit plan. Most of the time, we forget that we need to set both short term goals and long term goals in our budgeting. This keeps focused on why we are doing it in the first place.


7. Never trust your friend's budget strategy. What works for them, may not entirely work for you.


8. You'd have to think through dealing with those occasional dine-out bonanza on weekends. Unfortunately. these are the one of the major causes behind the phenomenon of "pocket drain". Which means its better to limit those eat-outs or be without them entirely (unless you deliberately made reservations or funding has been allocated for it).


9. People who give advises on how to effectively budget your income are they themselves on the same dilemma like yours.


10. Putting your budget in constant surveillance will not guarantee that it'll be intact by the time the next mall sale is out.

I must have tried hundreds of budgeting tactics out there. None has worked so far for me. I guess at the end of it all, it'll all boils down to how determined you are to drive your budget as you plan it.

From what I learned so far, it's really not a matter of number crunching if you think about it. It's actually much to do about your psychology, coupled by your commitment to the seemingly invincible task of sticking to the plan.