Agression is defined as the process of engaging another party or parties (sometimes accompanied with force) to resolve a conflict. The actions employed may vary from person to person, but for the most part we are taught that we should always consider peaceful ways to arrive at a resolution.
I was lucky to live this long, given my affinity to these demons. Growing up, I always think that pain and suffering are my friends, because they are always there with me. I didn't mind it at that time, since I was taught that to be a man, you should always try to take these monsters head on.
In college we learned about the two basic human responses to stimulus: Fight and Flight. Of these two, I'd always choose the Fight response more often than I should.
Thinking back now, I am unsure whether or not my actions were right. I mean what if, I was mistaken? What if, because of my arrogance, I've dug my own grave pit!?!?! What if pain is actually something to run away from?? What if suffering is actually something that we should strive to get out of??
Lately, I'm beginning to see a pattern in my behavior which I don't like at all. Because people around me say I am basically a good guy. A fun guy. Now, I feel like I'm an accident just waiting to happen. A ticking timebomb....
Earlier today, I snapped at our new colleague because I found her little musings irritating. I don't know what's happening... I've gotten brutally intolerant of simpletons, idiot and technoweenies...
I suppose I can still change. After all, it might just be the stress.... along with other things in my mind.
2 comments:
good luck with everything. I have also been close with depressive... moods... and it can be tough. but please always remember that you can't change the past (no matter how hard you try) and by second guessing hwat has already hppened you only hurt yourself. but by logically engaging your personal response to situations you have more control over what happens, and can even change your reponse in future situations.
Please also keep in mind that talking to someone (a friend, a mentr, a therapist...) can really help, and can help span your activity into consciencness and perspective.
I must admit I have gone at my inner demons through chemical arfare (perscription dugs...) and it has helped me alot, but getting off everything and handling things myself & without drugs is one of my goals.
I don't tollerte stupidity well either... and I'm a middle school teacher (most 14 year olds are stupid!). I guess it is a sign to our genious... but it is said that you hate in others what you don't like in yourself.
Hi Adrienne,
Glad to know that I am the only individual who's going through with the same issues.
I just hope you'll be able to control your demons without resorting to "chemical warfare" because at the end of the day, it's just that - Issues!
I have to admit though that I've been subscribing to Mr. Johnny Walker's advice more often than I should whenever the off day tends to extend into a week or months - but I was able to stamp it off now through other recreational activities / outdoor activities.
I think you just need to turn the pressure valve from time to time to be sane in this world.
Best of luck to you and hope to hear from you again!
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