Nearly a quarter to go in to what is one of the most difficult year I've ever had to go through - I find myself psyching-up for an overseas job appointment while barely a month-and-a-half with a new company.
After a very disappointing short stint with a-technical-solution-engineering-company that shall remain nameless, I feel overwhelmingly blessed to find a job which, so far, have given me a privileged working setup and impeccable mentors that are far fetched fantasies for most employees... Indeed, a lot of people I know in the technology industry today, either in this region or elsewhere, would trade their present jobs to be in my shoes right now.
An above average paycheck, flexible hours (you're not required to clock-in 9 hours everyday), telecommute/remote work, respectable benefits package, and an opportunity to contribute in the organizational processes and strategy which will shape a global organization, are the stuff that colleagues in the industry gets to enjoy when they are in their early to late 50s.
However, if there's anything that the first half of this year had taught me is that, my personal circumstances are not what most regular folks have. Or maybe I'm just full of it to think that my case is different from the rest. Being the sole income earner for a family of (five plus 2 people which supports entire households bigger than mine), I already conceded that everything in my life, from this point on, will be excruciatingly difficult than what I have ever faced in my life. It is also damning to know that I myself am still battling personal demons in terms of managing the financial affairs of my own family - being partly responsible for the welfare of an additional two separate families puts additional pressure on everything I do whether I acknowledge them or not.
It is also noteworthy to say that the overseas opportunity is NOT without its share of problems and challenges. Right of the bat, it presented some rather "unique" problems which under normal circumstances, most individuals would not even consider entertaining.
Together with the help of my very supportive family, I chose to persist, and in the wake of about a 2-month long roller coaster of bewilderment, excitement, and horror - I'm about half way there...
Because its still in 50/50-ish situation, I do feel comfortable to consider resigning from my current job barely a month in. After all the disappointments I had this year, I have lost my appetite for any amount of risk, and didn't want leave anything to chance.
I have been working on two plans:
Obviously, I'm not proud of what I'm about to do for a number of reasons. I feel that my present job is every bit worthy of loyalty, and for very good reasons too. However, I feel that this is something I need to do for the sake of my family.
I do not plan burn bridges with my present employer, so I know I have to also be mindful about delivering the work they expect. I know I've never been a model employee in a lot of respect, but the pressure to secure the immediate welfare of my family is also bearing down on this decision.
The overseas job has the potential to trump anything that I had ever had before, include this latest job I'm holding - except maybe on the job security category. All expatriate workers know that job security is never one of the qualifications they look for when they decide to go overseas for work. Its contract based, and obviously, you're not favored by the locals since you're viewed as someone whose taking away their jobs.
Looking forward, I realize that my situation puts me on a very difficult path where I'll never be sufficiently confident to call any decision as they present themselves to be. I do not know if I'll ever get used of feeling inadequate in as much that I've always prided myself to be a person who have somehow already established himself in a cut-throat industry where second guessing your expertise and decision can ruin global corporations.
After a very disappointing short stint with a-technical-solution-engineering-company that shall remain nameless, I feel overwhelmingly blessed to find a job which, so far, have given me a privileged working setup and impeccable mentors that are far fetched fantasies for most employees... Indeed, a lot of people I know in the technology industry today, either in this region or elsewhere, would trade their present jobs to be in my shoes right now.
An above average paycheck, flexible hours (you're not required to clock-in 9 hours everyday), telecommute/remote work, respectable benefits package, and an opportunity to contribute in the organizational processes and strategy which will shape a global organization, are the stuff that colleagues in the industry gets to enjoy when they are in their early to late 50s.
However, if there's anything that the first half of this year had taught me is that, my personal circumstances are not what most regular folks have. Or maybe I'm just full of it to think that my case is different from the rest. Being the sole income earner for a family of (five plus 2 people which supports entire households bigger than mine), I already conceded that everything in my life, from this point on, will be excruciatingly difficult than what I have ever faced in my life. It is also damning to know that I myself am still battling personal demons in terms of managing the financial affairs of my own family - being partly responsible for the welfare of an additional two separate families puts additional pressure on everything I do whether I acknowledge them or not.
It is also noteworthy to say that the overseas opportunity is NOT without its share of problems and challenges. Right of the bat, it presented some rather "unique" problems which under normal circumstances, most individuals would not even consider entertaining.
Together with the help of my very supportive family, I chose to persist, and in the wake of about a 2-month long roller coaster of bewilderment, excitement, and horror - I'm about half way there...
Because its still in 50/50-ish situation, I do feel comfortable to consider resigning from my current job barely a month in. After all the disappointments I had this year, I have lost my appetite for any amount of risk, and didn't want leave anything to chance.
I have been working on two plans:
- Number 1 is advise my current employer that I would need to work from outside the country due to pressing personal matters for a month or two; fly over there for a look-see, then make a decision which one will be better.
- Number 2 would be, I would let my employer know that I would need to relocate out of the country, fly over there, and work with managing 2 jobs, without absolutely letting either one of them know about it. I could make the time difference work to my advantage, since the former is about 7-8 hours behind where I will be based. Again not ideal based on my personal experience, but if it could ease some of the guilt off, then I'd say its worth taking a look.
Obviously, I'm not proud of what I'm about to do for a number of reasons. I feel that my present job is every bit worthy of loyalty, and for very good reasons too. However, I feel that this is something I need to do for the sake of my family.
I do not plan burn bridges with my present employer, so I know I have to also be mindful about delivering the work they expect. I know I've never been a model employee in a lot of respect, but the pressure to secure the immediate welfare of my family is also bearing down on this decision.
The overseas job has the potential to trump anything that I had ever had before, include this latest job I'm holding - except maybe on the job security category. All expatriate workers know that job security is never one of the qualifications they look for when they decide to go overseas for work. Its contract based, and obviously, you're not favored by the locals since you're viewed as someone whose taking away their jobs.
Looking forward, I realize that my situation puts me on a very difficult path where I'll never be sufficiently confident to call any decision as they present themselves to be. I do not know if I'll ever get used of feeling inadequate in as much that I've always prided myself to be a person who have somehow already established himself in a cut-throat industry where second guessing your expertise and decision can ruin global corporations.
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