My Eureka moment

Have you ever had a moment where you have gone beyond the absolute limits of your reasoning and cognition skills and just basically accepted whatever is filling your head?

Lately, I have had some thinking done and came out with an awful realization about life...

Let me start by inculcating some of the concepts which this entry is based on.

Fact #1 : We as sentient beings have both our irrational and rational processes of consciousness
Fact #2: For the most part, we tell ourselves that we are endeavoring more on employing our rational processes.
Fact #3: But, truth is, we are the most irrational and impossible person we know.
Fact #4: We fancy ourselves as the master of our universe and seek all things possible to control our fate even resorting to changing ourselves completely.
Fact #5: We never thought for a second that we do not have complete command on all our circumstances, actions and ambitions; that no single achievement can ever be attributed to our careful planning and absolute execution.

While digesting all the things that I have to go through last year; it just dawned on me... We are all living a life that's not our own!!!

Let me try to tell you why I came down to that conclusion....

First, we all thought for a time that we have to learn everything we can to master ourselves. We were taught at school that we need to act for ourselves as no one in this forsaken world will do it for us (this line of reasoning is partly to blame to what happens or how we'll turn out late in life).

Second, as we grow, we learn to some-what master our skills, discovering along the way our strengths and weaknesses. We force ourselves to recover on our weaknesses and to improve further whatever strengths we have. Over our lifetime, this will be the driving force which will enable us to constantly undermine ourselves, renewing most of our old habits and actions in the hope that one day, our efforts will effect our set goals and plans.

But, even though we go through all these wonderful transformations in our lives, we still feel empty, unhappy and incomplete. We still feel that something else needed to be changed, added, or taken out... That has become our life's mantra!

This longing is more apparent to some people than others. People who have high disposition on their achievements and their aspirations, suffer more than those who have complete trust on whatever "fate" dealt.

We of all, should not belittle whatever achievements or merit we have. Although, your parents will tell you that to prepare for the worst, you should do everything you can, including pushing yourself to become another person altogether.

When I was 8 Y.O., I didn't care what will become of me 10, 20 years down the road. Honestly, I couldn't give a rats ass if try! This is because, I am complete then. I have no reason to push myself into becoming someone else I was not! I also have no intention of even caring about what will happen when I have a kid of my own. For me, that very moment, is where I wanted to be. That moment, I was happy, that moment, I was satisfied...

Its little wonder why this is so. You see, if you have experienced growth through constantly changing yourself, you will almost always find a reason to change something in your life. Your willingness to change yourself a little a day, will overtime be an addiction which you will have no control on. We all know what happens next, don't we?

My friends, this is a violation of nature. You see, although human beings are constantly pushing the boundaries, it is never nature's intention to bring him to the brink of self destruction. For most of us who chasing our illusive dreams, we are willing to sacrifice not just ourselves, but the countless others that look on us for support and inspiration.

We do them a great disservice because, in our efforts to better ourselves for these people, we give them less of ourselves and more of our "other selves". Which comes back as a viscous conflagration of never ending compromises and deals.

There was once a man that said, in order to reach heaven we should be like children! Untouched and unscathed of all the barbarism and atrocity that plagued us since the very first day we decided to challenge our classmate in a graded recitation. Or built ourselves up for that promotion at work.

You see I've realized, that in order for us to be fully contented with what we have and what we are, is that, we have to stop changing ourselves at a certain point in our lives. We are, need I say it? Most conveniently flawed! There is no reason why we should compromise ourselves in the pursuit of this concept of perfection.

If another person dislikes you for being you, then, we should try to find out the reason behind it. If we feel that we will be significantly changing ourselves just to accomplish that person's wishes, then, it's not worth the effort.

Frankly, I am still in the process of changing my train of thought which has been ingrained to me since birth. I do not believe that as individuals, we are tasked to go beyond what we are. If, in God's good graces we should find that these changes are appropriate and achievable, then by all means, do it. If not, then, don't fuss and sulk about "what could have been"...

I remember the words that my mother used to say... "I'll love you for nothing else but just being yourself..."! This my friends are powerful set of words that we can all learn and live by....

I miss my mom, and most of all, I miss my old life....


PS. Image is courtesy of n-design