Is it time to wake up already?

For sometime now, I've been doing a lot of thinking...

I've also been trying to justify my apparent lapse in judgement and inaction as something that can be forgiven, due to the pathetic fact that I made them during the previous holiday season (Christmas / New Year).

Now, I'm desperately trying to convince myself that the honeymoon period is over, and that it's back to the grind for me...

Work wise, I'm still struggling. Being with a company that I am now, I think it would take quite a while for me to get comfortable at anything.

Settling into my current work is proving to be particularly hard, because not only am I adjusting to the environment, but also, I'm trying to re-learn the essential skills of working in a remote / virtual corporate environment from 9PM to 6AM.

Since most of the work I am doing is not based where I am stationed; I have to learn how to do things efficiently all over again; even if it means getting caught without a clue in a capacity meeting a couple of times.

The problem that I am experiencing right now is surely not exclusive to me. At least I'm hoping that is so... I'm sure somewhere, out there, a poor fellow like me is also experiencing the sheer trauma of managing mostly uncooperative resources between vast amount of space and time...

In addition to my work situation, I am still sitting on top of a hill when it comes to aligning some of the personal goals I've set for myself before agreeing to take this assignment (like going back to school, putting up and sustaining a business, learning a new skill, etc).

I'm finding it hard to do all these things now that I am working on the graveyard shift... At first I thought that being in this shift could be an advantage since most of my plans need to happen during the daytime.

Although I've adjusted a little bit on being a nightwalker, I still haven't found a way to force myself to work the other plans that I've so meticulously chartered before even agreeing to come back here...

In reality of course, it's really just a small problem, I'm sure I can deal with these inconsistencies if I set my mind on it, but at the moment, this particular issue is my biggest challenge to date (and it is screwing up all my plans)....

Actually, I've started to map how I am going to do the following:

(1) Go back to school
(2) Learn a new skill

At the moment, I'm giving much thought to getting a professional certification instead of pursuing an MBA (as originally planned). A professional certification that I can build a career on.

I thought of pursuing an MBA, but at the moment I cannot find any practical reason for it anymore as a professional certification would do a better job in getting me where I want to go.

Now, there is just the matter of putting up a business... Today, I was working from home and was lucky to have some time to chat with my wife (something that I'm getting less and less of)...

We've tried exchanging ideas about how things are going on with us individually... we felt that it is now, more than ever, imperative to establish a business undertaking, since a third of my income is being siphoned out by those evil trolls in government --- We need to augment the big chunk if ever we'll have a chance to survive here...

I shouldn't particularly have any complaints about government's grand design to screw with everyone's cash flow (that is after all why they're there in the first place)... this sad reality was explicitly made known to me, even before I considered the offer from my current employer...

The thing is, loosing that much income is putting a dangerous spin with my earlier plans...

Like what I said, we need to get something done before the cash discrepancy becomes out of control.

As a hindsight, I've decided to return home for the simple reason of career advancement --- but now, that I am here, I'm starting to believe that the only advancement I'm getting from this mess is the fact that I am the unwilling participant in a vicious cycle that is putting not just an entire country's sensibilities down, but my very own spirit...

I hope and pray to God for a sign --- something that will reassure me that I am on the right track.