That's how it feels again... Barely three weeks after my annual holiday, I felt as if I'm back in the muddy fields, soaking in the pungent, stale, and absolutely horrid reality of my present circumstances: Working as an OFW in a deadbeat organization.
Strong words coming from someone whose voluntarily sold himself (...to the devil...) into expatriation....
I tell you now - it should not always be about the money, you greedy-eyed muddda...!
Alright, sure, everyone's first reaction is, it's always about the Benjamins... But you see Benjie's going into all that sub-prime fiasco thingy right now, so that shit won't even matter within the next 7 years or so....
Let me then give you a brotherly advice (and I suggest you take it...) - If you're serious about going out of the country to work right now, you must be totally prepared - emotionally, physically, psychologically, mentally, and of course, morally....
Anything less than that, then, I'll tell you to wait on it for a while.... at least, that what I wish I would've done...
But here I am now... As dilapidated as I am, I have to persevere, not for my sake; but for my family's... I guess that's what really makes the entire ordeal bearable.... Family....
Things can certainly turn for the worst, but at the end of the day... It's not about you anymore.... it's about them, your babies.... your family....
I mean, if you think about it.... What is it that you've been doing all your life, if not building yourself up for that single, most noblest thing you can experience - Parenthood!
I know most of those who knew me back in the days will tell you, I'm the last person they would've thought of being all existential about parenthood and stuff... I guess I'd say the same thing like that about myself, 9, 10 years ago... Believe it or not, I did not look for this... It found me....! And boy am I freaked when it did....
That said, I guess the only thing I should be complaining about right now is not that I'm bent to be a corporate slave for the rest of my life... it should've been: I think I could've done a better job if I would've tried harder when I could've....
I just wish I'll not disappoint these fellas that much....
Ashley (8 YO) and Dylan (0.25 YO)
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