Oct 9, 2009

Whats the last thing you think before going to sleep?

What's the last thing you think of before pulling the shutters down?

I know this is a bit of a naive question, and obviously its really none of my business to ask... and no, I am not nosey...

I just wanted to know what most of us, whose amongst the corporate slave category, thinks of before drifting to "snoozeville"...

I guess you could say, I'm curious to know if you folks have the same train-of-thought...

Mine goes like this (not necessarily in the same order each time)
. . . .

What was the last problem/issue I encountered at work today? >>> How can I have handled it better? >>> What the fuck! I need to call out a meeting for that issue, I bet shit's gonna hit the fan by end of the week... >>> I wonder what's gonna be for breakfast when I get up? >>> Did I forgot any errands? >>> Airconditioner needs to be checked or serviced/not cooling the room properly... >>> Shit! I did forget some errands! Better hope the wife doesn't remember by tomorrow >>> Who was that girl on that movie? The one about the blonde chick with the chin? >>> (5-10 minutes goes by) >>> Reese Witherspoon? >>> Oh yeah, thats her! >>> Wait a minute, why the fuck do I always forget her name? >>> Christ, the electric bill is going to be out soon, wonder how much it is for this month? >>> I really need to schedule the airconditioner, maybe tone-down a couple of hours worth of using it per day... >>> Ha! It's too much of a bother, but I guess I'd talk to the wife about it tomorrow.... >>> Wow, pillows are getting extra comfy right now, need to pull the sheets over, cool air finally settling in.... >>> Think I forgot to say my prayers, crap I'm too lazy to do it now... I'll say two prayers later when I wake up... >>> ZZzzzzz....

Need an overhaul

Do you ever have those days where you feel locked-out? Caught like a deer on a headlight over meetings? Feeling like your running around with your head cut-off? Or maybe just felt inadequately out of control?

Sure, its probably caused by sheer exhaustion, or frustration with the daily runnings at work - but then again these could just be a factor amongst a combination of things...

I seriously think there should be some sort of study out there... and a statistic of how many of us, mortals are affected by this condition... just so we can go to the authorities and declare a pandemic or something...

Tried combing the web for self-help advises, but nothing so far seems to work... well, not in my case anyway.

I probably need to get a vacation anytime soon... a very looooonnngggg vacation!

I'm feeling claustrophobic with my current working scenario right now.

All the issues, deadlines, and more issues are like, starting to take its toll on me...

Dealing with frustrations at work is tricky...

I know, cause I must have tried every piece of advise I could get my hands on...

So here's three of the "best advices" I can find out there, and what it did for me:

Positive Thinking

The problem is, that when you go with the "positive" thinking crap - its just a short-term "fix"...

I mean sure, it does get you off for a day or two, but once you get back to reality, its like you never really went anywhere... so you end up being more miserable cause all you've proven was you can actually fool yourself... Delusion is not something anyone should welcome, I bet persistent practice of this method would either land you in a mental institute, or seriously shift your sense of reality...

Analyzing the root-cause

Sorting or analysing the cause of the issue is obviously more stressful work for most of us - something which I'm sure you don't want more of in the first place... So that piece-o'-crap advise didn't work either...

Meditation

Dealing with the problem by subscribing to "distractingly gay-ish" activities like yoga. meditation, or some other similar shit, only gives you more clarity of mind, in effect, "amplifies" your initial sentiments and frustrations since you can focus and analyze better....

I've tried that one, and look where I am right now?

. . . . .

Seriously, I feel like I need a complete overhaul these days....

Sep 1, 2009

Substancial Void

I was brought into a world, where there is absolutely no other substitute for success but being successful - a logic which, for some time looked perfectly right... after all, everything just seems to fit together... successful students tends to be the ones reaping the fruits of their efforts year after year (with merits, scholarships, etc), likewise, successful workers, tends to be the ones promoted first and with it... that synonymous leg-up on their pay amongst other gray stuff...

Success seems to be the single driving force that is only limited by how persevering and how committed a person is. Which for me, unfortunately, has also become the yard stick on which I measure happiness with... Success = happiness --- this was my 'desiderata', my mantra...

But now, reflecting on what I've really learned from the school of life... Success doesn't necessarily meant that you'll be happy... that success will not always guarantee that what's waiting for you at the end is something that you would like....

Of course, this could just be another mindless rant coming from an already tired, sleep-deprived, often times eccentric individual such as myself... but pause for a while and let the your mind do the talking for once... I just want you to basically ask yourself, if, from all your success right now, are you in any position that you can truly say that your either happy or content? Or did your previous success just leave you, hungrier for the next success niche?

True enough, I bet a lot of you would be candidly claiming that you are 'content' and 'happy' with where you are right now.... if so, then this post did not do shit... to you at least... so just bugger off!!!

If your answer is the same as mine, well, I want to share with you with a recent realization ---

success is not about achieving.. it is about looking back and validating
yourself for a job well done... It's not about hoping for a positive reward...
its about what you think your efforts have meant to yourself and to those around
you...

Try to reflect at what your recent success meant for you... and tell yourself whether its made a 'true' positive impact to you and your family

Aug 17, 2009

How risky is managing risks?

Risk Management seems second nature to most of the folks whose worked dedicatedly in technology.

Unfortunately, the reality is, no one really tells you anything about it in college, until you worked on your first project or coordinated your first end-to-end development, integration or deployment.

Initially your college built-in mentality is to whine, procrastinate, and frown at the idea because what you originally thought as something straight forward (ei. develop scripts/solution then deploy), now has to undergo rigorous process engagements, sometimes on several verticals, all in the name of "due diligence" or worst yet - "industry best practices". You quickly loose any sense of security once you realize that your technical designs or development codes will have to undergo several layers of testing, validation, reviews, even before you get a chance to present it to a board or committee for approval.

All of which boils down to this = more frigging work for you, bub!

Slowly, but surely, you warm up to the idea. Not only because you've accepted this as a part of your professional life, but also because you appreciate the security that these once bothersome processes and risk control measures now offer.

Enter Risk Management 101- tadah!

At it's basic form, Risk Management is really a collection of process groups and best practices in the industry aimed at, well... managing risks. (duh!)

Curiously, the process of risk management, doesn't just matter or start when the problematic engineer comes breaking your door down with a problem - most of the time, there are no dramatic one-liners like, "Houston, we have a problem" sort of a deal.

Because of the degree of financial impact, coupled by that ever-present obiquitous dilema on optimizing operations and efficiencies; risk management now is expected to be part of every business (or technology) undertaking - part of the mythical "initiation check lists".

Deductive reasoning (and common sense...) will tell you that managing "risks" would have a better chances if it was identified at the very earliest point in the endeavor, allowing you to have enough time to put together logical convergent planning around remediating or managing the said risk.

Running into risks and issues for every project or undertaking is a statistical certainty. That is why, it is essential to put up control measures, trackers, indicators, and mitigation and remediation plans to detect them early, and provide acceptable terms on how to deal with it, even before the "risk" materializes.

Project Management practices, hopes to address this key item, and several project management professionals have already put in countless hours and text, priceless advise to attempt to better recognize, process, and mitigate risk

Because of the fact that each and every project or endeavor comes with its own unique challenges and "personality", no single individual out there can truly say, they will have a comprehensive account of the format on the process of Risk Management that they can simply grab and refer to whenever they encounter any risk associated dilema.

From most of the materials out there, together with my set of experiences in project managing, I've put together a practical set of advises/recommendations, that you need to understand to be better equipped at managing risks.

Please feel free to put whatever you feel needed to be included on the list:

(1) Understand the requirement(s) per the task at hand - This is a crucial first step, which most "seasoned" professionals sometimes feel they're just "too good" for. Accepting that all projects/tasks are unique means that no amount of experience/tenure can ever truly say that an individual has all that he needs to know about anything to cover "all bases". Once you understand this fact, you can proceed to the next step.

(2) Set a regular review process with your team/groups to discuss and identify potential "risk -centers" constantly evaluating its relevance - Only after fully understanding the requirements will you be truly inclined to sit down and identify the unique risks and risk-centers associated for a particular endeavor. By creating an avenue to review and discuss these items with your group or team, will you be able to better identify (and sometimes...) understand what the entire "risk picture" would look like. Leveraging on your team with specific skill sets and rich experiences would mean that you are not only covering the risk under your set of expertise, but also, catching essential risk items that your team will most likely have more understanding of.

(3) Keep a risk register log and follow up on remediation requirements and delegation of tasks - by investing time and resources to your risk review meetings, the logical steps is to track and address key questions like, what are the remediation plans/steps for the identified risks? and who will be accountable for creating a remediation plan? In doing so, you will be at a better position to understand the impacts of these risks and obviously, would be more empowered at addressing and assessing them according to an over-all go forward approach

(4) Follow up and communicate to management these risks - In order to better align the objectives of each undertaking, you need to communicate all associated risks, especially ones that would have financial, or operational impacts to management. This could easily be accomplished if you've been keeping my 3rd advise above.

(5) Delegate the risk, or assign it to any particular invidual or group for remediation - This means that once you've identified the risk, drawn up a form of remediation plan, you need to assign the risk item to the individual better suited to address the said item.

Jul 29, 2009

G-Spot horror story

The plot

There was a heated discussion amongst my colleagues in the office one day, about the existence of the male g-spot.

Obviously, there was really no clear point on the discussion, it was all just some perverted way (by someone) to past the time over lunch break....

The guys even suggested that there was a wiki document out there, detailing the actual location of the male erogenous zone.. I obviously have to see it for myself, although, I flatly (or shall I shall I say, disgustedly...) dismissed that such an article does not (or should not) exist at all, let alone be documented in Wiki...

Homophobes be warned

So, just for argument's sake, I did go into Wikipedia and hit the search button for the text criteria "male g-spot" which landed me here, nothing really new there....

Then I thought that since I was out on the web anyway, I'd try hitting a search on google for the same text, and came across this rather disturbing forum entry, from an obviously "happy" guy giving a "blow by blow" instruction about "stimulating" the supposed male g-spot...

All I can say was, "what the god-damn fuck!?!!?!", while read the first few lines hitting ALT-F4 after about 3.75 seconds into the article....

Unfortunately though, I'm a fast reader, and basically got a "lot" of unwanted information off with those 3.75 seconds I now, regrettably spent reading that shit of an article...

My life, I can now say, will be forever scarred at this point... I'd probably end up old and broke paying for therapy with the traumatic experience...

The damage, in my case, will be irreversible...

*AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

For what it's worth, I want to leave you, kind readers with this trivia, in a futile attempt, wash off all that filth you most definitely would be needing Doctor Phil's therapy from later on....




Trivia: Can you find where this "hottie's" g-spot is?



Vicious cycle

I always try to put some sort of explanation to any shit that happens... After all, shit does happen, right?

Sure, I also, mostly, jump to conclusions, initially, but then, my more "mature" side always kicks in, which would then start me off on the process of logically assessing the situation, culminating with me drawing up either a scientifically conclusion, or form of assumption based on deductive reasoning...

Coming back to my point (and I promise I do have one this time!)... If there's one thing that I dislike about myself is the fact that I often times go against what I preach... I mean, I am calm, logical, and reasonable when it come to addressing matters affecting other people.

But, when shit comes my way... I turn completely opposite!

Be that as it may, I am sort of a reactive Eddie, never really backing down on any point, until all the fumes past, and I'm all by my self...

Often, I would find myself disengaged after a conflicting event, just reviewing what I would've done better at that time. In the end, I'd formulate some sort of resolution, and start telling myself that "this is what I'm going to do next time this shit happens again..."

Next shit happens, guess what? Same routine... I'd be bitching, biting, exaggerating, mostly because I either:

a) don't care about no damn resolution
b) Just really not understanding the point of being logical at that time
c) I'm almost always right anyway, so why bother analyzing the shit?

Which obviously brings me back to where I started with this... So, I want to put the question out there and ask - "Is this thing normal?"

I mean, if there is any shrink out there who could give me free advise, I urge you, for the love of god, help me resolve this already cause its getting too damn old!

Jul 23, 2009

Those were the days, my friend....

Once, I dreamed of being an influencial, tech-savvy corporate warrior... A suave, tech-talking, smooth-walking, semantics-playing, regression-testing, keyboard-punching, monitor-staring, network-architecting, name-calling, bluetooth-wearing techno-freak!

But now though, I couldn't care for anything else, except to live a normal life, sleeping on normal hours, doing normal inane things, like talking about, nonsense, sometimes whimsical topic items.

Having a conversation over coffee on something quaint like flipping pancakes, boiling an egg, re-arranging the furniture, driving the car until you run out of gas, walking for hours in the rain, cracking my knuckles until it hurts, waving goodbye while sitting on the curb of a busy street, flying a kite, whistling a tune, tossing in bed, playing with my kids, drinking off the milk carton, scooping sand then flailing it to the ocean, reading a good book, polishing my shoe, scrubbing the floor, surfing the boob-tube, reading a comic book, stacking up boxes, watching the sunset, cursing across empty space, getting a hi-five, giving a hi-five, counting the hours, or just planning the next stupid grocery lists...

You know, simple shit like that...

Sigh... I wish life could be as it once was....

Oh, well - back to reality D... Crap! I needed those infrastructure designs an hour ago... wtf is this guy doing?!?! I swear risk architects are the biggest frigging drama queens you'd ever work with!!!

Jul 3, 2009

Half Baker's dilema

Most of the time, I find myself cooking up half baked business ideas and making it rich...

Then, I burst forth with adrenaline about a dose of pointless researching, statistical analysis, cross indexing, until finally, I convince myself the same two possibilities that I ended with on the my last half-baked idea:

(1) It will work, but it requires much time, commitment, and of course capital.
(2) IT WON'T WORK...

Seriously, who amongst us have even began to take the "risks" and just blindly run with the stuff we concoct?

Half baked ideas are only good if your at your wits end (i.e. you got sacked, or your co-workers rat you out that you we're moonlighting with the competition...) and have nothing to loose...

I know it could just be because, due to all those time of countless hours of brain-washing session we call school years... we all got that insidious fear of risking it all for something uncertain...

It not only takes courage and prudence to switch your realities at a snap of a finger. Sometimes, it also requires something not quite easily given out.... yep, you guessed it... Faith

A dose of self inflicted bitch slapping

I just got recently got the biggest wake-up call this time around in my professional life...

No longer will I be basing my self-judgement on my previous accomplishments, merits, awards or job position...

Today I realized that although delivering the job is essential - it is no longer enough of a qualifier to say that you've done the job well.

For me, now, it is the process and the manner of how you deliver the requested matter that really counts.

In the not so distant past, I proudly celebrated how I managed to elevate myself, and my professional career to where it is now - on the "egotistical" grounds that I'm simply smarter, stronger, faster, and more ambitious than anyone else in my age group.

I never give any thoughts on the fact that wisdom is not something that comes in a packaged, pre-cooked, just pop it in a microwave oven sort of a deal and you're set for the next challenge sort of stuff...

Thinking back, I felt as if I lost track of the reality that life isn't about who's ahead, but about how you enjoy the ride, and in the process, constantly take notes on opportunities for improving yourself no matter how small it may seem...

Growing up, I recall, that I wasn't always concerned about those things. I was predominantly there for the"thrill" factor... the rush that you get by being the first one to finish the test exam (with flawless scores of course!), or being the first on the honor roll list, or some stupid thing like that....

I desire competition, for the shallow reason that I can later on mock the other fellow once I crossed the finish line first and leave him/her sucking down dirt and fumes...

It's basically an immature aspect in my personality that I've just recently found to be extremely repulsive... Something, that at this point, I am not very much proud of.

I've cut-corners, lied, cheated, and bribed my way if I have to, just to stay ahead of the pack...

In the past, its only about, me coming up on top, or me being the first at this thing and that... pathetic... I know.... but yes, I am, for the most part, guilty as charged...

Having this realization at this point of my professional life is proving to be a big drag... because now, I'm constantly doubting myself, my judgement, my call....

No longer the trigger happy, maveric cowboy, the "know-all-coz-I-am-the-best" kind of an attitude...

I slump back, trying to evaluate and sometimes, re-evaluate every angle in everything that I do now... sometimes, I even find myself struggling with efficiency, simply because now, I take an extra time to come up with a decision...

Is that a bad thing?

In the end though... like what that great saying goes... "Let none but history judge me..."

At least that what it looks like from where I am now...

**Big friggin' sigh!

Jun 23, 2009

Scare Bear

AH1N1 cases totalled 447 today.

Just want to call out the fact that besides being blindly terrified of this bug, I'm just totally mortified of the thought that after working hard in the office, tucking my shoes, coming home from work -- I could very well be passing the virus, unknowingly to my loved ones (especially my kids), who'se come to answer the door and excitedly plants me a well deserved kiss!

And what is the fucking deal with this old saying "well, when its your time...."...????

I really hate the fact that some old-fart, wittered bastard blasted out such idiotic nonsense, probably at the dawn of his remaining soddy, pathetic life on this planet, and found an entire society reciting his mantra like it was something so natural to accept!

Such idiotic ideas are really what's making this entire pandemic scene play out for the worst --- people totally intolerant of other people's lives...

Sure, it's a pathetic, and honestly so, quite catchy of a phrase sort of a claim to your reason, but think about it... Kids are the only real victims on every pandemic/epidemic crisis that's broken out since man decided to come of age...

And no, I don't give pity if you're old, gray, and just decided to tell me that "when it's your time, its your time..." you pathetic piece of sordid crap!